What would we do without the internet to debate the most crucial issues of our time?
We might never know that we are color blind (that dress was clearly blue and black, and I will defend that until I'm blue in the face).
Or how the toilet paper should hang ("over," according to an infographic and a patent; you "under" folks ought to be flushed with embarrassment).
Or how we should cut our toast (diagonally is so obviously the toast of the town).
And we'd never know that we are brushing our teeth. All. Wrong.
Recently social media got all (Aqua)fresh with people debating the proper way to clean one's pearly whites.
According to Mashable, it began with an innocent tweet: "Do y'all wet the toothbrush first, or put toothpaste on first?"
Wet the toothbrush. Then put paste on. Then wet it again. Duh. Doesn't everyone do that?
One like-minded user posted, "wet the toothbrush, apply toothpaste, wet toothbrush again ..... that's how it's supposed to be done ... it's the law." Another posted: "Those who don't wet their toothbrush before putting on the toothpaste are likely the same people who pour milk in their bowls before cereal." Posted another: "I think we can all agree that the correct way of putting toothpaste is: wet the toothbrush -> put toothpaste -> wet everything. If you think otherwise, you're a monster."
Brace(s) yourself. Even basic oral hygiene can't be agreed upon. Posted one user who thought the wet method was all wet: "people.... wet their toothbrush, put toothpaste on and... wet it again? how does the toothpaste not accidentally fall off when you wet it the second time ???"
I got down to the root (canal) of the matter and took a poll on Facebook:
How do you brush your teeth? This is important research, people!
A Wet brush, wet paste.
B Wet brush, dry paste.
C Dry brush then wet paste.
D Dry brush, dry paste.
They were fighting tooth and nail right out of the (Col)gate.
Though there were quite a few Bs and Cs, I'd say that A brushers won the crown. Admittedly my own mouthing off might have had something to do with that.
When a friend in the C category challenged the seriousness of the study, I said, "I thought everyone did A. Like NORMAL people!" Those C people can be so ornery -- surely it's inadequate brush hydration causing irritated gums.
Justified another C brusher: "Toothpaste falls off too easily if the brush is already wet."
A less feisty C answered: "C for me. For my kids... as long as they get the toothpaste and brush in their mouth at approximately the same time... I don't care when they add water." That got a toothy grin from all the moms.
A couple friends -- bless their mouths -- actually responded D. Whimper. When I asked one pain-loving, self-loathing creature "Why?" she replied, "Well a few toothpastes that I've tried recommended that and now I really like it!"
Wait, she not only brushes her teeth in the most savage manner, she actually reads toothpaste boxes? (In her defense she said, "they were specialty ones ... one was a charcoal type and one is a whitening one.)
I turned to the American Dental Association website (mouthhealthy.org) for guidance, and found none, even after going over their "Brushing Your Teeth" section with a fine-tooth comb:
Brush your teeth twice a day with a soft-bristled brush. The size and shape of your brush should fit your mouth allowing you to reach all areas easily.
Replace your toothbrush every three or four months, or sooner if the bristles are frayed. A worn toothbrush won't do a good job of cleaning your teeth.
Make sure to use an ADA-accepted fluoride toothpaste.
Not one word about water. Maybe it makes no difference -- even if it's significant to all the As, Bs and Cs (we know water doesn't matter to those masochistic Ds).
So much for unity. Even when it comes to situations as simple as teeth brushing, we can still be molar opposites.
You know the drill, email:
jchristman@arkansasonline.com
Spin Cycle is a weekly smirk at pop culture.
Style on 02/25/2018