Dear Otus,
Thursday was Flag Day -- a day set aside to honor the stainless banner that flew over our patriots at Bunker Hill. It just fries my grits that some so-called "Americans" disrespect our military and Old Glory by kneeling during the National Anthem before football games and refusing to sing. If it was good enough for our boys to sing at Yorktown, it's good enough for football players.
I agree with our president that the protesters should be tarred and feathered and shipped off to any Commie country of their choice.
-- Kevin Kleagle,
Harrison
Dear Kevin,
It was wholly a pleasure to hear from you even though you have some of your facts muddled. It is, however, your God-given right as an American to get things wrong, just as long as you remain open to contrition and correcting the error of your ways.
First of all, let's get it straight what President Trump said about the NFL kneeling protesters, because it would be beneath the dignity of the office for any president to advocate the tarring and feathering of American citizens.
All the kerfuffle began last fall when Trump, having noticed that quarterback Colin Kaepernick's quiet preseason protest of "police violence and America's mistreatment of people of color" had begun to spread, streamlined the complicated narrative to simply disrespecting the flag and the military.
At a political rally in Alabama last September, Trump asked the assembled faithful, "Wouldn't you love to see one of these NFL owners, when somebody disrespects our flag, to say, 'Get that son of a [pejorative term] off the field right now! Out. He's fired.'"
The crowd, estimated by press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders to be 280,000, was the largest ever assembled for a political rally in the history of the state of Alabama, cheered wildly.
Last month, the NFL finally acquiesced and announced that next season players would either stand for the anthem or stay in the locker room until kickoff.
In response, Trump told Fox & Friends the next day that the NFL acted correctly.
"You have to stand proudly for the national anthem or you shouldn't be playing, you shouldn't be there," Trump said. "Maybe you shouldn't be in the country."
Being kicked out of the country for having the decidedly un-American temerity to peacefully protest is a far cry from being tarred and feathered, a painful public torture last used in Texas in 1922. It faded from favor due to the increasing scarcity of down feathers. Use of the subsequent hypoallergenic fiber filler doesn't have the same impact.
And Thursday was, indeed, Flag Day because it was on June 14, 1777, that Congress finally got around to approving a national flag of stars and stripes. That was, however, a full two years after Bunker Hill, where the flag flown was red with a pine tree in the union.
Appropriately, last Thursday was also the president's 72nd birthday. He celebrated by hugging a flag.
And, sorry, there was no "Star-Spangled Banner" at Yorktown. Francis Scott Key wasn't inspired to write "Defence of Fort M'Henry" (later known as "The Star-Spangled Banner") until 1814. Furthermore, Congress didn't adopt the song as the national anthem until 1931.
A little-know caveat was that the congressional resolution stipulated that only accomplished singers with a modal register of 19 semitones were ever to attempt the song before a sporting event. That's because the melodic range is from a B flat below middle C to a uvula-straining high F. The total range of the piece is a challenging octave and a half.
Whitney Houston's rendition at Super Bowl XXV in 1991 sets the standard. Mariah Carey, with her range of 12 octaves (seven of which only dogs can hear) is a close second.
Infamous national anthem "fails" are too numerous to mention, but include all who "personalize" the tune such as R. Kelley's reggae-soul hybrid in 2005, Roseanne's infamous 1990 screech, as well as any version from melismatic singers such as Christina Aguilera who squeeze off a riff of 10 or 12 notes when there ought to be only one or two.
All that said, Kalaka reminds you that you don't have to wait until July 4 to hug your flag. You can do it every day like the president and twice on Sundays.
Disclaimer
Fayetteville-born Otus the Head Cat's award-winning column of humorous fabrication appears every Saturday. Email:
mstorey@arkansasonline.com
Disclaimer: Fayetteville-born Otus the Head Cat's award-winning column of 👉 humorous fabrication 👈 appears every Saturday.
HomeStyle on 06/16/2018