Owner OK despite years spent in front of screens

Dear Otus,

We're the parents of a 3-year-old and I'm really confused over all these articles about "screen" time for toddlers. She really loves our iPad and watching Bubble Guppies. How much is too much?

-- Kathryn Neal,

Cabot

Dear Kathryn,

It was wholly a pleasure to hear from you. Although I was nipped in the bud before I could personally beget, sire or procreate, I closely observed my own human family and simply point to Owner's sterling example. He's almost exactly the same age as broadcast television and he turned out OK.

Well, relatively OK.

I mean, he can read and everything, knows which fork is for the salad, and is considered reasonably well-adjusted (within broad, generally accepted social parameters).

Yes, there was that unpleasant aberrant experience with the anthill and the magnifying glass when he was 7. He claimed it was an experiment he learned on Watch Mr. Wizard. No harm, no foul.

And you certainly can't blame any boyhood antics on Sky King or The Roy Rogers Show, The Adventures of Rin Tin Tin or Winky-Dink and You.

Owner's fellow boomers will recall that the latter featured the adventures of a star-headed cartoon lad named Winky-Dink and his dog, Woofer. The genius gimmick was that the boys and girls at home were asked to help Winky-Dink out of a jam by drawing whatever Winky needed on a clear plastic sheet stuck over the TV screen.

That made Winky-Dink the world's first interactive video game way back in 1953 and an invaluable educational tool for young minds eager to learn.

The current Sturm und Drang over toddler screen time comes from that radical league of trouble makers, the American Academy of Pediatrics. Officials claim, "Today's children grow up immersed in digital media. Too much can mean that children don't have enough time during the day to play, study, talk or sleep."

The AAP recommends that for children from 18 to 24 months of age "parents should choose high-quality programming, and watch it with their children to help them understand what they're seeing.

"For children ages 2 to 5 years, limit screen use to one hour per day of high-quality programs. Parents should co-view media with children to help them understand what they are seeing and apply it to the world around them."

For children ages 6 and older, "consistent limits on the time spent using media, and the types of media" are recommended. That includes "media-free times together, such as dinner or driving." And never, ever, allow your kid a computer, iPad or TV in his bedroom.

In my experience, if you don't like a recommendation from the AAP, wait a minute. There'll be another study and a different recommendation.

Don't forget, the AAP is the same outfit that changed its motto in 1994 from the physician's official "Primum est non nocere" to "Si hoc legere scis nimium eruditionis habes."

I have watched Bubble Guppies on Nickelodeon and found it far less harmful than, say, The Road Runner Show where Wile E. Coyote is always falling off a cliff. Or the insouciant Bugs Bunny, who was always in danger of getting his head blown off by Elmer Fudd during rabbit season.

Common sense tells parents not to plop Junior down in front of any of the Kill Bill movies, the WWE Network, Jerry Springer, The Chew or any news briefings with Sarah Huckabee Sanders. Everything else for kids is pretty much OK for in loco parentis.

Owner started watching TV when he was 5. It would have been earlier, but Little Rock didn't have a TV station until 1953.

Some of Owner's fondest childhood memories were of Kukla, Fran and Ollie; Captain Kangaroo; Crusader Rabbit; Fury; My Friend, Flicka; Sea Hunt; Superman (the one with George Reeves); and Little Rock's own Gail Davis in Annie Oakley.

And who can forget Lassie ?

"Woof! Woof!"

"What's that, girl? You say Timmy's foot (or was it Jeff's foot?) is stuck in a bear trap down at the old abandoned mine and there's a cougar loose from the circus? Show us the way, girl, we'll follow."

So, while the academy may appear to have children's welfare at heart, never underestimate the value of mommy napping while the kiddies go exploring with Dora for a couple of hours.

Until next time, Kalaka reminds you that all six Lassies were males. That'll warp a kid when he finds out.

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HomeStyle on 03/03/2018