Faithful reader praises Otus for 1,939 columns

Dear Otus,

Unless my memory fails me, April 1, 1980, was your very first weekly column for the old Arkansas Democrat. I was only 12 at the time and thought at first it was an April Fool's joke. But I can't remember a deeper impact anything had on me as a preteen than when I read a newspaper column by a cat. If a cat could write, I could do anything.

On behalf of all those for whom your Saturday column has been a breath of fresh air, I congratulate you on your humorous fertile imagination! Thanks for the most excellent reading material!

-- Linda Laurel,

Rogers

Dear Linda,

It was wholly a pleasure to hear from you and to humbly thank you. Your memory does not fail you. It has been 38 years, and because of two stand-alone columns that appeared in 1979, it has been my pleasure to have been involved in the lives of so many readers in parts of five decades.

I can't fault you at such a tender age for believing that a newspaper column by a feline was some sort of April Fool's joke. The column did initially appear on the newspaper's nascent Saturday Omnibust page, a weekly light-hearted counter to the rival Arkansas Gazette's effete and pretentious Omnibus page.

Omnibust was created by the legendary then-Managing Editor John Robert Starr to be an outlet for the state's untapped creative talent to write humor and satire about any topic of their choosing. He felt there was a vast pool of budding writers just champing at the bit to unleash their pent-up imaginations.

He was wrong. Humor is the most subjective and difficult of disciplines. Many, many failed. It may be difficult to believe, but even after all these years, hardly a week goes by that I don't receive a couple of emails from confused readers who don't "get it."

This is in spite of the fact that each column has a disclaimer stating exactly what it is. I won't even mention the fact that my column logo is of a cat. A dead cat with a halo, no less.

But back in the early days, Starr wanted an anchor column for the Omnibust page that would draw readers each week. Duly impressed by the overwhelming reader reaction to my two previous efforts, Starr asked me to be the page's first regular weekly contributor. He told me I would be allowed to write it pro bono and gratis. Thrilled by the prospect of being able to serve my fellow Arkansans, I readily agreed before I bothered to look up what the Latin terms mean.

Pro bono means "work undertaken without charge," and gratis means "given or done for free."

In other words, in all these 38 years, I've never been paid a dime for what Guinness World Records (previously The Guinness Book of Records estimates have been 1,939 columns (as of Jan. 1, 2018).

But that's fine with me.

All ordained and installed Head Cats (and there's one in every state except North Dakota) have a special calling from Kalaka. Each and every one does his work pro bono, whether it's for a newspaper, magazine or, more recently, a blog or YouTube page.

And you, Linda, have been witness to the longest-running feline-written column in the history of newspapers. That's according to the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, a dedicated organization of the nation's best and brightest who labor under increasingly difficult circumstances to shed truth and light in an ever-darkening world overcrowded by nonvetted bloviators and Twitter trolls.

At their national conference in June last year in Manchester, N.H., the NSNC presented me (in absentia) with the Jerry Pyle Lifetime Achievement Award for my accomplishment and brought my longevity to the attention of the Guinness folks, who were so amazed at the feat that they created a new category for their forthcoming 2019 edition (publication date Aug. 28).

I'm told my article and photo will be printed next to one on the world record fidget spinner. The next edition will be published in 100 countries and 23 languages, including Azerbaijani and Slovene.

Until next time, Kalaka reminds you that it was on June 6, 1989, that then-Gov. Bill Clinton (with my surrogate by his side) proclaimed June "Otus the Head Cat Month" in honor of my 10 years of service. Both of us have had fascinating careers ever since.

Disclaimer

Fayetteville-born Otus the Head Cat's award-winning column of

Z humorous fabrication X

appears every Saturday. Email:

mstorey@arkansasonline.com

HomeStyle on 03/31/2018