Dear Otus,
We are all anxiously awaiting this year's Miss Arkansas excitement to see how the 2018 gals have mastered the art of pageantry. I'd put our young ladies up against any in the country, especially since the pageant has enlisted the professional expertise of our local pageant guru, Anthony Jay.
-- Elizabeth Grace,
Russellville
Dear Elizabeth,
It was wholly a pleasure to hear from you and to agree 150 percent with your assessment. Yes, Russellville's own Anthony Jay is a pageant genius and has become in demand all over the country ever since Fayetteville's beautiful Savvy Shields was crowned Miss America 2017 and gave much of the credit to him.
Savvy was the first Miss America winner to utilize Anthony's expertise throughout her entire pageant career. With his guidance, she first came to our attention as the winner of the Miss Arkansas' Outstanding Teen title in 2009. Then, after winning Miss Arkansas Collegiate, Savvy was crowned Miss Collegiate America in 2013.
In 2016, Savvy captured the prestigious Miss Heart of the Ozark Foothills title and went on to sweep the Miss Arkansas preliminaries, winning lifestyle and fitness, as well as talent before taking the title.
The rest is history. Savvy did Arkansas proud in Atlantic City, winning the talent portion before taking the Miss America crown on ABC before an estimated worldwide audience of 429 million.
During an appearance on ABC's Good Morning America the next day, Savvy thanked her family and fans, and gave credit to Anthony for guiding her all those years.
Anthony hasn't had a spare moment since.
Contacted via email in Des Moines, Iowa, where he's advising the contestants in the Miss Iowa pageant, Anthony said his career really took off after he was hired by Alyse Eady to help her win Miss Arkansas 2010. The Fort Smith native, who wowed America with her signature clogging/singing/ventriloquist act, went on to become first runner up to Miss America 2011.
"Alyse had been a veteran of 17 pageants when she came to me," Anthony said, "From Miss Teen Arkansas 2004 to Miss South Central Arkansas, she never quite put it all together until she followed my 12-step program for guaranteed pageant success.
"Savvy began following my strategy at an earlier stage in her career and won Miss America by the most direct route."
Anthony notes the key to his strategy is mastering the tricky art of stunned elation when your name is called as the winner. It's crucial and not as easy as it seems. It can take months of practice to perfect.
If you show too little emotion, the audience won't believe you are appropriately thrilled, or dismisses you as cocky and bumptious. Too much emotion and they are turned off because you act as if you believe you didn't deserve it.
Eady was the first to master Anthony's technique as seen in her archival videotapes. When your name is called, you must immediately drop your jaw to a bizarrely unnatural width and emit a scream at a pitch that only dogs can hear.
Secondary reactions are equally crucial -- a quivering hand to the mouth, followed by "Oh, my God! Oh, my God!" two or three times as you turn humbly to accept a hug from the runner-up.
That, according to Anthony, is immediately followed by a quivering hand to the chest as if you can't catch your breath (left photo above). There are then eight seconds of turning left and right in a state of astonished flummoxification as the outgoing titleholder approaches with the crown, sash and bouquet.
There then follows the hardest part -- remaining suitably speechless and quivering while the crown is being pinned to your hair (right photo above). This has been known to take 20 to 30 seconds. That's an eternity of open-mouthed quivering.
Anthony's record is truly impressive. Since Alyse, Ashleigh Walton (Miss South Fork of the White River) finished in the Miss America Top 10 in 2012; Courtney Caldwell (Miss First Boyhood Home of President Bill Clinton) was in the Top 7 of 2013; and Ashton Campbell (Miss Ouachita River) was second runner-up to Miss America 2014.
For those who want to see Anthony's handiwork in action, the 81st Miss Arkansas Pageant will be held June 9 to 16 at Little Rock's Robinson Center Performance Hall.
Until next time, Kalaka reminds you never, ever call it "swimsuit" competition anymore. That's way too sexist. The bathing suits with high heels may look exactly the same, but now it's called "lifestyle and fitness."
Disclaimer
Fayetteville-born Otus the Head Cat's award-winning column of humorous fabrication
appears every Saturday. Email:
mstorey@arkansasonline.com
Disclaimer: Fayetteville-born Otus the Head Cat's award-winning column of 👉 humorous fabrication 👈 appears every Saturday.
HomeStyle on 05/26/2018