LET'S TALK

We've got good news and we've got bad news

I find myself thinking again of Evillene, the wicked witch in the musical The Wiz, whose song "Don't Nobody Bring Me No Bad News!" was in this space a few years back when I discussed the bad effect bad news can have on us.

Today, the news seems worse than ever. There always seems to be a bit of fly in even in the good-news ointment. Of course the opposite can be the case, too.

That being said, here's Let's Talk's long-awaited edition of Good News/Bad News and Vice Versa.

mThe good news: The midterm elections are over. No more campaign-ad bombardment!

• The bad news: The midterm elections are over. Now those Christmas-shopping ads are going to have no mercy on us.

• The good news: You've snagged a great parking space during a weekend jaunt to the grocery/big-box store!

• The bad news: That space was being held for Alec Baldwin.

• The good news: Amazon just announced a Christmas-shopping deal: No minimum purchase to get free shipping on packages to be delivered in time for the Big Day.

• The bad news: The porch thief-catching video-doorbell security companies just announced a price increase.

• The good news: You decide to mind your own business.

• The bad news: You crazy? You can get the cops called on you for performing such shocking actions.

• The good news: Those annoying neighbors who decorate their yard for absolutely every holiday/special day? They moved.

• The bad news: Oh, dang. Now your block needs street lights. And wait, did your property values go down?

• The good news: There are phone applications that will cut out those hellish spoofed robocalls.

• The bad news: Now you have to put up with all the ads generated by the app. Unless you update to Premium.

• The bad news: You've had to give up cable. And, for now, home Internet.

• The good news: Wow, look at allllll that fascinating content you've been missing on the Justice, Laff, Charge, Escape and Grit channels! And you still get Comet and Bounce!

• The better news: You realize you were, ahem, paying all that money to also have nothing to watch.

• The bad news: Nope, your broke self didn't win that big zillion-dollar lottery.

• The good news: You won't be adding "big lottery win" to the matters you and your also-broke family members fight about.

• The good news: Robot technology is going to take over everything. According to the introductory scenario presented with a Science and Knowledge YouTube video, "[the] future of robotics technology year 2020 sees robotics gain momentum and become vital components in a number of applications. The robotics industry creates 3 million additional jobs between 2014 and 2020, led by consumer electronics and the electric vehicle industry. By 2020, robotics is a $100 billion industry, equivalent in size to the worldwide medical tourism industry in 2012."

• The (obvious) bad news: Robots are going to take over everything. Aieeeeeeee! Demon Seed! I, Robot! Ex Machina! Westworld, old and new! Stepford Wives!

• The bad news: We remain subject to all the cheatin', lyin', truth-dodgin' and corruption that is American politics today.

• The good news: But, whew, the midterm election is behind us.

Send some good news my way:

hwilliams@arkansasonline.com

Style on 11/11/2018

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