I might have been suckered into purchasing Pajama Jeans, The Snuggie blanket and the Ped Egg foot file.
And the Sham-Wow towels, the Sleep Styler hair rollers and the Christmas Star Shower Laser Lights, etc.
But this time, I didn't fall for buying an "as seen on TV" product.
I fell for buying an "as seen on Facebook" product.
The Pony-O! Not to be confused with Ponyo, the 2008 anime film about a goldfish princess who wants to be human.
What I purchased is the Pony-O ponytail holder. Actually two of them! For just $19.95! OK, and $4.50 shipping too.
Never mind that I already own hundreds of hair bands -- let's say dozens; they break and get lost all the time -- that cost a fraction of the price. The video ads that constantly filled my Facebook news feed assured me that The Pony-O was going to be a horse of a different color.
And, speaking of color, I could even choose one to match my hair; the Pony-O comes in Onyx, Sable, Dark Chocolate; Milk Chocolate; Ginger; Sandy Beach; and Champagne Blonde. They even have sparkly Pony-Os called Bling Ringz ($14.95 each) and Pony-Os with swirly designs ($21.95 for two).
From ponyo.com: "The Pony-O will give your ponytail the comfort it's been craving!! Our revolutionary, patented design gives your hair a perfect perky lift in seconds!!"
And, hey, I need perky lift wherever I can get it.
Their additional list of Pony-O benefits:
• "ZERO damage"
• "Maximum comfort"
• "NO MORE HEADACHES"
• "Has the strength to hold all day"
• "Makes hair look thicker and bouncier"
• "Designed to last hundreds and hundreds of uses."
I purchased the Pony-Os and prepared to wait for their arrival until all of my bleached hair turned fully gray (no pewter shades, Pony-O? A "Hi-Yo Silver" would be cute!). I figured it would take weeks to months. But, neigh! These Pony-Os were racehorses, arriving in just five days.
They must have come via the Pony-O Express!
The two silicone butter-colored Champagne bands with copper wire inside didn't look like much when I opened the padded mailer. But after watching an instructional video that the company emailed about using the Pony-Os for different hair types, I was ready to trot them out.
I'd attempt a high ponytail with my unruly, thick mane. As directed, I used only my thumb and index finger, fed the hair through the band, clamped down on the Pony-O to secure the hold and then bent the edges inward to lock it in place. And it remained boosted in full Ariana Grande position, no drooping or sagging. Perhaps Pony-O should branch out into face cream and undergarments too.
I was filled with unbridled joy. I was so glad I ponied up and bought them.
So then, I use them all the time, right? I regularly look like J. Lo, Princess Leia in Return of the Jedi and Madonna during the Blonde Ambition World Tour, right?
Well, truth be told, I haven't really worn the Pony-Os -- except while washing my face and applying makeup -- ever since I made the investment.
While I just had to have these pricey, sturdy hair bands, I now recognize how rarely I wear my hair up; I prefer to have it down.
Does admitting this about the Pony-O make me seem less than "stable?"
Saddle up and email:
jchristman@arkansasonline.com
What's in a Dame is a weekly report from the woman 'hood.
Style on 10/02/2018