HOT SPRINGS -- After 40 years, Becky Miller finally traveled to Norway to meet her pen pal, Janina Langbrathen-Nygaard, for the first time last month.
The two pen pals first connected in 1978 through Bernice Lowrey, the pianist at the church Miller attended. Lowrey had gone on a two-week mission trip to Norway and stayed with a family in the town of Halden, where she met the young girl Janina.
Miller said that when Lowrey returned home, Lowrey said, "I need someone to write this girl. She wants a pen pal
"I am just so thankful she chose me," Miller said. "I told Bernice -- and I don't even see Bernice anymore -- I messaged her on Facebook and said 'I'm going to Norway to see Janina and her family.' She was so excited."
Miller and a friend traveled last month to Iceland before heading to Norway and stopping in Sweden and Germany. The trip took 10 airplanes, three trains and four buses.
"I think one of the most touching parts of my trip was when Janina's parents FaceTimed with Bernice. It was so touching because they love her so much. I did not realize how great the connection was until then. It was so touching that they got to see each other," Miller said.
Miller said that when the letter exchanges started, she was 12 or 13 years old. Their letters included notes about their countries and sometimes they exchanged small gifts.
The gifts "had to be very lightweight things though because it was expensive to mail," she said. "Our moms would help us, and her mom would help her write in English. They speak very good English there.
"And then as young mothers, email came about, so we started emailing every day."
Miller said she and Langbrathen-Nygaard knew each other's daily schedules and would email or write every day throughout years of major historical events and life milestones.
"I knew her day-to-day life, she knew mine, and then our kids became pen pals and so that was just kind of fun," she said. "She and I [talked] through marriages, divorces, losing my parents, all these major events in our lives, but hearing their take on 9/11 and their opinions. They're pretty liberal over there and just hearing their opinions on very touchy subjects, things like the death penalty, gun control, things like that, we may have had some differences of opinion, but it was OK."
Miller said in many discussions the two wanted to emphasize respect in understanding each other's differing opinions.
"Frequently she would say to me 'I want to apologize if I have offended you,'" Miller said. "Particularly when we were discussing the death penalty or when talking about women and their role in the home, or whatever, she didn't want to offend me because it is hard to communicate sometimes your thoughts. Yet I think it helps you to pinpoint your own thoughts sometimes when you're trying to put them down on paper."
Having a long-distance friendship has had a great impact on Miller's life, and even her children's lives through the years.
"She's got these beautiful young women now and when we started writing them, they were little girls," she said. "I hope they get to come visit someday. With her health, I'm not sure that she will, but her daughters are 27 and 24, and I think ... with a little persuasion ... we could get them here. I have three boys, and they are all really ready to go see them."
For her trip, Miller said she wanted to take a little bit of Hot Springs to Norway.
She said she couldn't take anything heavy, so she went to some local businesses and bought some socks, some small handmade ornaments and some soaps.
"When we were younger, our mothers would help us, so I remember sending her a calendar, placemat, little things," she said. "But as we got older, like young adults, she sent me these Christmas ornaments that hold real candles and I still put those on my tree. ... One year, she sent my boys knit, Norwegian wool sweaters."
"We would send each other little candies, and my kids were never sure what to think about the Norwegian candy."
During Miller's visit to Langbrathen-Nygaard's home, Langbrathen-Nygaard pointed to an Arkansas blanket that Miller had sent her years ago.
"Used to I sent her news information or People magazine, Life magazine, just to kind of show her what was going on over here," Miller said. "Not only did we not communicate via text like we do now, but now [in] the media you can read everything."
Miller said even with the changes in technology and how people communicate, she would encourage young people to write to pen pals and learn about their cultures.
Since returning from Norway, the two longtime pen pals have expressed what joy the meeting brought them.
"There was always that fear of what if when we get there, after 40 years of writing, we don't know what to say," Miller said. But before Miller even got back to Hot Springs, she received a missive from her pen pal.
"It said meeting me was the best thing next to childbirth in her life, so it was like, that is just so touching."
Metro on 09/02/2018