OPINION

PHILIP MARTIN: What you want to believe

What you want to believe is that it has nothing to do with you.

What you want to believe is that some people are born wonky, that they fall in with bad companions, that somewhere along the way they make an unfortunate choice that compounds into a thwarted life and culminates in a spasm of self-negation. That these killers are carriers of some violent gene that would find expression no matter how gentle their upbringing.

What you want to believe is that they are born not made, and that they are not like you.

What you want to believe is that the instruments of violence are irrelevant, and if we didn't have mass shootings, we'd have mass knifings, or mass beatings with sticks. What you want to believe is that there is nothing we can or should do because you believe in the sacredness of certain objects, things to which you are entitled. What you want to believe is that there is no unhealthiness in your enthusiasm for precision-fitted steel weapons.

What you want to believe is that there have always been and will always be cracked actors seeking to inflict upon society whatever damage they can, and that the only thing good people might do is stand ready to protect themselves and the ones they love and whatever blameless others they might from evil by whatever means they can muster.

What you want to believe is that, if tested, you would prove yourself brave and capable and worthy of the heroes of generations past. What you want to believe is that you are as good as the people of the old stories; that you would have thrived on Normandy's beaches or in the Battle of the Wilderness.

What you want to believe is that if it had been you outside Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School you would have gone inside to confront the shooter whether you had a weapon or not. What you want to believe is you are more like Kendrick Castillo and Riley Howell than Devon Erickson and Trystan Andrew Terrell.

What you want to believe is that Patrick Crusius, Santino William Legan and Connor Betts are nothing like you. That there are fine people on all sides. That the politicalization of these tragedies (that no one could do anything to prevent) is the real crime. What you want to believe is that if no one published the names of mass shooters, then mass shootings would cease to exist.

What you want to believe is that it's somehow disrespectful to the victims of violence to begin to address how we might mitigate future violence in the immediate aftermath of attacks. That anyone who lacks the nerdy acumen of a handgun fetishist should be disqualified from any conversation about how we might make our society safer.

What you want to believe is that "soft targets" are complicit in their own murders.

What you want to believe is that the little voice you hear in stillness is the truth and that your intuition is immune to the flattery of carny barkers and presidential candidates; that you know in your heart what is right and who is authentic. What you want to believe is that you won't get fooled again.

What you want to believe is that what you want is what is best for America.

What you want to believe is that you are put-upon, more victim than victimizer, that you have done your best with your scant opportunity, that no one has ever given you anything and that you deserve whatever you have stacked up and more.

What you want to believe is that you have done more than your share, that you have given more than you have taken and that you have achieved whatever station you've arrived at through hard work. What you want to believe is that you have always followed the rules and that some opportunities have been denied you because, in order to conserve and grow their power, certain authorities have conspired to elevate less-deserving interlopers.

What you want to believe is that the world is rigged against you, that you have been disadvantaged. That your talents have gone unrecognized or been suppressed, that others have been given chances for reasons that have nothing to do with their merit but with the shadowy ambitions of your enemies.

What you want to believe is that things are simple and that it is easy to know what to do, but that there are people who benefit from making the world seem more complicated, who would confuse you with their studies and their science. What you want to believe is that expertise is just a way for soft people to get over. What you want to believe is that you can see through their convolutions, that things are always exactly as you imagine them to be.

What you want to believe is that things are being kept from you, and that if things were said plainly, some natural hierarchy would be made manifest. What you want to believe is that political correctness obscures the way things really are, that some cultures simply are not as good as other cultures, and that your culture is one of the better ones.

What you want to believe is that your anger is justified.

What you want to believe is that you are seeing the world for what it is: a hard and dangerous place made up of competing tribes bound by blood and heritage, that it is natural to want to promote the interests of "one's kind" over others.

What you want to believe is that conflict is inevitable and that all the pretty talk of peace and love is either a campaign of disinformation or the chatter of fools.

What you want to believe is that you would have never joined a lynch mob or booed and hissed at Jackie Robinson or Muhammad Ali. You would have never preferred Pat Boone to Ray Charles.

What you want to believe is that you would never have sentenced an innocent man to death. You would have never called for Barabbas or taken out ads calling for the death penalty for the Central Park Five. You would have never spat upon Elizabeth Eckford. You would have never owned a slave.

What you want to believe is that you are the good guy.

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Philip Martin is a columnist and critic for the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette. Email him at pmartin@arkansasonline.com and read his blog at blooddirtandangels.com.

Editorial on 08/06/2019

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