September is when leaves fall by the hatful. And no mere beanie's worth — a 10-gallon heap at a time, not even counting all those leaves that have the gutters clogged like a stocking cap stuck in the drainspout. Grab a rake, or just leaf well enough alone.
1 Fall Hat Month, Happy Cat Month, Tarzan of the Apes creator Edgar Rice Burroughs' birthday, 1850. A cap, a lap, a jungle chap.
WATCH OUT FOR RATTLE SHAKES
National Championship Chuckwagon Races finals at the Bar of Ranch in Clinton. Details at chuckwagonraces.com. Call (501) 745-8407.
BREXIT SIGN
Homeless-in-London drama The Rooster Rebellion Sept. 1 and 6-8 p.m. at The Weekend Theater, Little Rock. Details at weekendtheater.org. Call (501) 374-3761.
MELODY PARODY
Song satirist "Weird Al" Yankovic, 8 p.m. at Verizon Arena, North Little Rock. Details at verizonarena.com. Call (501) 975-9000.
(To the tune of "My Eyes Adored You.")
Oh, Al's accordion —
He plays songs of spuds
And Spam and eggs
On his accordion;
He plays songs about
Bus rides with freaks
On his accordion;
As feared,
So weird,
And yet — so Al.
AT EASE
2 Labor Day, Better Breakfast Month. Labor Day is the Monday when workers get to sleep late — unless there's a cat in the house that wants breakfast.
CLOUD STORAGE
3 Skyscraper Day. Arkansas' tallest cloud-tickler is: (A) The Old Main clock tower at the University of Arkansas, Fayetteville; (B) the Simmons Bank Tower in Little Rock, or (C) The Tontitown Tower of Terror.
Answer at Sept. 13.
NOBODY'S LONESOME TONIGHT
4 Million Dollar Quartet and the music of Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash, Carl Perkins and Jerry Lee Lewis through Oct. 6 at Arkansas Repertory Theatre, Little Rock. Details at therep.org. Call (501) 378-0405.
ME AND THE BOYS WILL BE PLAYING ALL NIGHT
5 KISS: The Final Tour Ever, 7:30 p.m. at Verizon Arena, North Little Rock. Details at verizonarena.com. Call (501) 975-9000.
HIGH THERE
6 Arkansas Balloon Festival with balloon races, tethered balloon rides through Sept. 8, Harrison. Details at arkansasballoonfest.com. Call (870) 741-1789.
PUTTER STRUTTERS
7 Antique Tractor and Small Engine Show, 10 a.m.-2 p.m. at Plantation Agriculture Museum, Scott. Details at arkansasstateparks.com. Call (501) 961-1409.
MEEMA, PEEPA, HEE-HAW
8 Grandparents Day asks Geema and Geepa, Banma and Banpa, Memere and Pepere, Mimi and Pop-Pop, Opa and Pappy — whatever became of Grandma and Granddad?
CALIFORNIA DUCKS GO "QUAKE-QUAKE!"
9 California admission day, 1850. California admits the avocado toast craze was over before it ever got to Arkansas, and the whole California foodie thing has cycled back around to peanut butter and crackers.
WALK ON THE WILD SIDE
Group Health Walks on Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings through Nov. 22 at Garvan Woodland Gardens, Hot Springs. Details at garvangardens.org. Call (501) 262-9300.
BLUE CREW DUE ADO
10 Blue Man Group through Sept. 15 and Sept. 17-19 at Walton Arts Center, Fayetteville. Details at waltonartscenter.org. Call (479) 443-5600.
DON'T BE GRUEL
11 Be Kind to Editors and Writers Month, National Honey Month. You can catch more typos with spell-check than with honey, but you can't catch absolutely every mifspelling.
READY PLAYER ONE
12 National Video Games Day remembers the pioneers who made it possible: Pong, Kong, and the U.S. Mint for all those quarters.
ART ASSEMBLY
13 Acansa Arts Festival of the South, Sept. 13-28 with the Arkansas Symphony Orchestra, Dallas String Quartet, Gina Chavez, at venues in Little Rock and North Little Rock. Details at acansa.org. Call (501) 663-2287.
UP, UP AND AWAY
High-there quiz answer: (B) the 40-story Simmons Bank Tower is the place to climb for safety as this month's leaves pile up.
MAKE A SQUISH
14 National Cream-Filled Donut Day, and other foods that never should be eaten in the car:
• Reuben sandwich with extra sauerkraut.
• Spaghetti.
• Somebody else's dinner that you're supposed to be delivering.
TENOR IS THE NIGHT
15 River City Men's Chorus concert, "Hallelujah!," Sept. 15-16 and Sept. 19 at Second Presbyterian Church, Little Rock. Details at rivercitymenschorus.com. Call (501) 377-1080.
FETE OF CLAY
16 How to celebrate National Play-Doh Day: Squish it through your teeny toes, but don't put Play-Doh up your nose.
AMERICAN-MADE
17 Constitution Day celebrates the nation's founding document that was signed on Sept. 17, 1787. Also, it's Citizenship Day — a salute to every citizen of the United States. And National Apple Dumpling Day.
"An apple a day keeps the doctor away," might be true as Benjamin Franklin said, but nobody keeps away from an apple dumpling.
See Sept. 26.
SWISS CAN'T-MISS, BUT CHEDDAR'S BETTER
18 National Cheeseburger Day, National Indoor Plant Week, and hello to the plant-protein fake hamburger. Soylent Green is — umm, not half bad.
SCALLYWAGS ARR US
19 International Talk Like a Pirate Day, and how to update those old-time buccaneer expressions:
• Then, yo-ho-ho — now, LOL.
• Then, hornswoggle — now, robocall.
• Then, grog — now, grog lite.
TIME-WARP AGAIN
20 Spa-Con IV comics and pop culture convention, through Sept. 22 with Barry Bostwick and The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Details at spa-con.org. Call (501) 321-2027.
ALMOND JOY HAS NUTS — MOUNDS DON'T
21 Fall Equinox Celebration, 5-7:30 p.m. at Toltec Mounds Archeological State Park near Scott. Guides explain how the sun aligns with the park's prehistoric, man-made knolls. Details at arkansasstateparks.com. Call (501) 961-9442.
DEALS ON WHEELS
22 Main Street Food Truck Festival, 11 a.m.-6 p.m. with six blocks of food trucks and entertainment, downtown Little Rock. Details at mainstreetfoodtrucks.com. Call (501) 375-0121.
BLOW YE LEAVES, HEIGH-HO
23 First Day of Fall — or as the trees call it, time to let go.
THE FROG THAT ROARED
24 Muppets creator Jim Henson's birthday, 1936.
"For me, I think the very best part of creativity is collaborating with friends and colleagues. Admittedly, mine happen to be bears, pigs, rats, chickens and penguins, but you go with whatever works for you." — Kermit the Frog.
SIXTY, SIXTY, FEELIN' FRISKY
Comedy Sex Please, We're Sixty through Oct. 19 at Murry's Dinner Playhouse, Little Rock. Details at murrysdp.com. Call (501) 562-3131.
CHOPPER BY THE DOZEN
25 Bikes, Blues and BBQ motorcycle rally with Harley Davidson demo rides, helicopter rides and music through Sept. 28, Fayetteville. Details at bikesbluesandbbq.org. Call (479) 527-9993.
CHITTY-CHITTY-BANG-BINGE
Fall Automobile Swap Meet through Sept. 28 at Museum of Automobiles on Petit Jean Mountain near Morrilton. Details at museumofautos.com. Call (501) 727-5427.
APPLE CORE CORPS
26 Johnny Appleseed Day. History says only that pioneer nurseryman John Chapman planted apple trees — can't confirm that he went west to escape charges related to an apple core-throwing incident in Baltimore.
DEER, THERE AND EVERYWHERE
27 Bucks Ducks Fish and Trucks outdoor show through Sept. 28 at Conway Expo Center, Conway. Details at bucksducksfishandtrucks.com. Call (501) 326-0903.
'SHROOM SHA-BOOM
28 National Mushroom Month, and beginner's guide to knowing when a mushroom is safe to eat:
• If it's on the ground, don't eat it. It might be poison.
• If it's on a pizza with anchovies, don't eat it. It might be an anchovy.
I GO SANCHO
29 Don Quixote author Miguel de Cervantes birthday, 1547. To this day, a "sanchismo" is a comment of the kind made by the old knight's squire, Sancho Panza.
"The fool knows more in his own house than the wise man in someone else's." — Sancho.
YAKKITY-YAK, DON'T TALK BACK
30 Worldwide Speak Out Month hollers a leaf-strewn farewell to September — and hello-ooo, Halloween.
Coming next month: Octo-boo!-ber! This September edition is the last of Ron Wolfe's illustrated calendars for the Democrat-Gazette Style sections after more than 25 years of fun and frivolities, but the fun is still out there. And you can still find it in Style.
Style on 08/27/2019