At this moment, the only sounds in the office are the ticking of the clock on the wall and my gum-smacking.
One of those is like nails on a chalkboard to my husband.
Unlike some people, I cannot quietly or unobtrusively chew gum. I chew it more like Julia Roberts’ fellow streetwalker and friend Kit De Luca in Pretty Woman. That’s why I have been banned from chewing gum — first by my mother, who would say, “Spit that gum out” before I left home, and my husband, who said the neighbors complain about the noise.
I stopped chewing gum when I had braces in high school. I rarely chewed it again, but once in awhile, I have dabbled in the practice.
Growing up, I remember my Nano always having Dentyne gum in her purse. But those pieces are just too tiny. Bubble gum loses its flavor too fast, and I’d be distracted trying to blow bubbles all the time.
A few months ago, I read that chewing gum helps you concentrate and helps curb your appetite, so I bought a pack. I felt like I was really doing something illegal. I nervously chose a brand at the grocery checkout counter. I just went with Wrigley’s 5 gum that my son likes to chew.
I didn’t tell my husband, and I only chewed the gum at work. I spit it out before I got home and hoped he wouldn’t smell it on my breath.
He doesn’t tell me what to do in any other area of our married life. He doesn’t criticize what I wear or what I look like, but the gum-chewing thing is a line he draws.
My husband and I were watching the U.S. Open on Father’s Day, and Phil Mickelson was going to town on some gum. One of the announcers mentioned it a few times. When Phil missed a putt, an announcer suggested he put another stick of gum in his mouth.
I read an article that said Mickelson started chewing gum earlier this year. He told a reporter, “the chewing aspect stimulates the frontal cortex.”
I also read that golfer Jordan Spieth, whom I haven’t noticed chewing gum, said it helps relax your jaw, instead of clenching it when you’re stressed. Tiger Woods has also picked up the habit, but he is a tasteful chewer.
Then there’s Pete Carroll, the Seattle Seahawks football coach, who is famous for chewing gum. He also chews it like Kit De Luca. My brother can’t stand to watch him.
In my two-minute research on this topic, I found an article online about a study involving 133 volunteers who were given gum and tests to measure memory, speed, attention and accuracy on tasks. The results showed that chewing gum was associated with better alertness and a more positive mood, but it didn’t improve memory.
I feel justified about my new gum-chewing habit.
My husband has always wished I’d take up golf, and I just read about a brand called Golf Gum that has caffeine in it, too. That might just send me and my husband over the edge.
Senior writer Tammy Keith can be reached at (501) 327-0370 or tkeith@arkansasonline.com.