Howard Robinson, an unsung conservation hero and a two-time president of the Arkansas Wildlife Federation, couldn't have written a better ending.
Robinson was hunting deer with a muzzleloader with his longtime friend Charles Self, also a noted and respected conservationist. They were hunting, appropriately, at Howard County Wildlife Management Area, as they had done for decades.
Robinson shot a doe and texted the good news to Self. About an hour later, Self went to Robinson's stand. Robinson appeared to be asleep.
"That wasn't unusual. He'd go to sleep at the drop of a hat," said Paula Robinson, Howard's wife.
"Are you going to help me with this deer?" Self shouted.
Robinson didn't respond, so Self climbed the stand to check on him. Apparently, Robinson suffered a massive heart attack not long after sending the text to Self.
I have so many stories about Robinson that it's hard to know where to start. One of my favorites was from a public meeting in Booneville in the mid 1990s. The late David Goad, a wildlife biologist and later deputy director for the Arkansas Game and Fish Commission, moderated the meeting.
Goad was really not a match for that particular crowd, but Robinson was in his element. He was at the podium expressing support for the proposed regulation when a guy stood up to challenge him. He was an older guy wearing bib overalls and no shirt. He was also built like a tank. He told Robinson that he believed that he and his sons needed to give Robinson a good a * * whuppin'.
Robinson, a massive man in his own right, gently rocked back and forth on his heels. Without missing a beat, he said, "If you're feeling froggy, start jumping!"
"I thought, 'Oh, my God, we're about to have a riot,' " Goad said. "Just the opposite happened. That guy and his two boys looked at Howard like he was crazy. I called for a short break to let things cool off, and those guys got out of there fast. The rest of the meeting went smooth as could be."
One afternoon, Robinson arrived at the Brushy Hollow shooting range near Waldon to shoot targets when he encountered a dentist from Fort Smith slumped over his rifle at one of the benches. He was trying to sight in his new rifle for an upcoming Kodiak brown bear hunt in Alaska. The rifle was chambered in 416 Remington Magnum, one of the most powerful cartridges there is. The dentist's glasses were broken, and his face was bloody from a gash over his eye caused by multiple collisions with his scope.
Robinson zeroed the rifle with a few shots and gave its owner an impromptu shooting lesson. The dentist was very thankful and gave Robinson his business card.
The dentist killed a large brown bear and had it mounted. He said he gave the rifle to his guide as a tip.
Robinson was one of the most competitive people I ever met. After supper at his house one evening, Robinson challenged Miss Laura and me to a game of Trivial Pursuit. He had never been beaten, he boasted. Paula refused to play with him and retired to the other room while Miss Laura proceeded to beat the socks off him.
That was bad enough, but then Miss Laura announced that it was time for the Grand Wazoo ceremony.
"Grand Wazoo ceremony. What's that?" Robinson asked.
"I'm Grand Wazoo," Miss Laura said cheerily. "All the other players have to get on their knees and bow down three times and chant, "You are the Grand Wazoo! You are Grand Wazoo! You are the Grand Wazoo!"
Robinson looked at me, incredulous.
"That's part of the deal," I said, dejectedly. I did the three theatrical salaams while Laura beamed like a pageant queen.
Robinson leveled an icy glare at Miss Laura and said, flatly, "I ain't doing that."
Miss Laura and I erupted in laughter, but it took a little while for Howard to lower his hackles. On the way home, she said, "If you had won, I think you might would've had to fight him over that."
Correction
Shawn Daniel disputed the results from our recent sporting clays shoot at Remington Gun Club with Cris Carson and Joe Volpe. I wrote that Daniel finished second. He actually finished first. The leader missed almost every target at the last station, and Daniel overtook him for the victory.