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Readers don’t clamor for the arrows quite as loudly and insistently as they demand the rural wisdom of Bubba McCoy. But they clamor nonetheless.

For that, I should be, in the spirit of the week, thankful. And I am.

Donald Trump — The longer we live with the crazy, the more we get accustomed to it. As Jimmy Buffett put it: “If we weren’t all crazy, we would go insane.” So, over four years, we’ll just go with the crazy to keep from going crazy. You see. Or not. Some call that “normalizing” Trump, which they decry.

Asa Hutchinson — The state’s alt-right groups are assailing him because I’ve written favorably of him and his governing. He desperately needs for me to write a fiery broadside against him, but I just can’t come up with one. Multiple executions, kicking people off Medicaid — I did those already. Maybe if he would hurry down to Alabama and campaign for Roy Moore …

Jan Morgan — The “Gun Goddess” of Hot Springs did, in fact, hurry down to Alabama and campaign for Moore. She, in fact, sort of invokes the child that Moore and Sarah Palin might have conceived while listening to a Ted Nugent song. If she follows through on her threat to infect the Republican gubernatorial primary by running against Hutchinson, she’ll make plenty of noise while storming to a rowdy 31 percent.

Tom Cotton — He’s the future of the national Republican Party, fusing Trump’s intellect with Hillary Clinton’s charm. That means he’ll take away your health insurance to pay for tax cuts for the well-to-do and growl at you while he does it.

National Democratic Party — See immediately preceding item.

Roy Moore — For a Republican U.S. Senate candidate in Alabama to lose Tom Cotton, and prompt even John Boozman to chance a public position against him … that’s Ripley-grade material right there.

Al Franken — He’s not as bad as Moore but, still, comedians trivialize our politics nearly as much as real estate developers do.

Men — They tend to lose their boyish charm but hang on to their boyish maturation levels.

Women — They are starting to get it through our thick skulls. Don’t objectify them. Don’t patronize them. By all means don’t bully or abuse them. Treat them professionally. Respect them for what they are — equals, at least. Our legislative bodies both state and national would be instantly improved if their memberships reflected the population and were 51 percent female.

The Clintons, Bill and Hillary — They’re better than the sick hatred of them but, still, their adoring local cultists need to wean themselves from singing “Don’t Stop Thinking About Yesterday,” which they gathered to perform yet again Saturday.

Arkansas Democrats — Talented young educators are announcing for state office on their ticket, or thinking strongly about it, suggesting a new generation and a new progressive emphasis that might produce only a win or two right away, but which, more importantly, will plant the seed for a new and badly needed post-Clinton era.

Little Rock — It’s a public relations campaign masquerading as a community.

Bret Bielema — I apologize for references to him as comparable to Houston Nutt. To Nutt, I mean. Houston took a team to the SEC championship game. Bret can’t take a team to the fourth quarter. Going for it on fourth-and-two on his end of the field at the end of the game and risking giving Mississippi State a ready-made opportunity for a winning field goal — if I didn’t know better, I’d think that was a flip of the finger to what they call Razorback Nation. But I am reasonably confident it was merely an absurd coaching decision.

Cole Kelley — He’s lucky Bielema didn’t really punish him by making him play the last two games behind that offensive line.

John Brummett, whose column appears regularly in the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, was inducted into the Arkansas Writers’ Hall of Fame in 2014. Email him at jbrummett@arkansasonline.com. Read his @johnbrummett Twitter feed.

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  • RBear
    November 22, 2017 at 6:28 a.m.

    LOL. Good one John. Reading through each of these, I got a good chuckle and yes, it's time to move on from the Clinton era and nurture these young Democrats.

  • TimberTopper
    November 22, 2017 at 8:43 a.m.

    LOL! John, even your word processor had to be smoking after these shots! Got to hand it to you, both barrels across the bow of many groups.

  • mozarky2
    November 22, 2017 at 8:57 a.m.

    Brummett's not the only one to think President Trump is on an upswing. Excerpts from David Blackmon's Daily Update:
    "I’m thankful that Hillary Clinton isn’t the president. It’s bad enough that she remains in the public eye, still doing everything she can to destroy our nation’s democracy.
    Second, I’m thankful Donald J. Trump is the President. Thankful for the roaring economy his roll-backs of Obama regulations have created. Thankful for the record-high closes in the stock markets on almost a daily basis. Thankful for his refusal to bend to the will of the fake news media or buy into the dictates of political correctness. Thankful for how crazy he drives liberals each and every day. Thankful that he Never. Stops. Tweeting.
    Third, I’m thankful to the leaders of the Democrat Party, such as they are, and their utter failure to learn a single damn lesson from their humiliations in the 2016 elections. Rather than take those humiliations as an opportunity to moderate their policies and clean the corruption from their ranks, the Democrats have instead doubled down on the leftist radicalism that has taken them from the clear national majority they enjoyed as recently as 2010 to a shrinking, minority regional party centered in large cities along the East and West coasts. Their party leadership remains a motley collection of corrupt fools, their anti-Trump and anti-middle American rhetoric grows more shrill with each passing day. Cool.
    Fourth, I’m thankful for the fake reporters, fake editors, and fake talking heads who infest the fake national news media. Like the Democrat Party they all loyally serve, they have learned nothing from their own rejection in 2016, their double standards, biases and outright fabrications so blatantly obvious that no thinking person believes anything they have to say. Which is good for America, since there is no national mainstream media outlet that can be trusted anymore.
    Fifth, I’m thankful to James Comey and Hillary Clinton for their invention of the whole “Russia Collusion” fantasy play. No, really, I am, despite the abuses of power that are obvious in the Robert Mueller investigation. But that special counsel investigation is, intentionally or not, leading inexorably to the final downfall of not President Trump, but of Bill and Hillary Clinton. Yeah, I’m thankful for Russia Collusion, because that fantasy has led to the revelation of so much reality, with much, much more to come.
    Finally, I’m thankful for all the women and former child actors who have been brave enough to come out in recent weeks and out so many monsters in Hollywood, the fake news media, and now in politics. Intentionally or not, they are showing America that the country’s leftwing institutions have long been cesspits of sexual depravity and abuse. This is a reckoning that has been a long time coming, and is likely just getting started".

  • Dontsufferfools
    November 22, 2017 at 9:08 a.m.

    Disagree a little with the Hutchinson and Jan Morgan bits. Hutchinson with his tax cuts has laid the groundwork for a "starve the beast" agenda. Expect to see more moves like the 60,000 moved off Medicaid. Arkansas voters just might be angry and disillusioned enough to empower Jan Morgan, especially if Hutchinson makes a misstep, like debating her. Plus they get to vote for a woman and feel progressive, though they'd never utter than dirty word.

  • Dontsufferfools
    November 22, 2017 at 9:12 a.m.

    Geezus Mo, talk about an infected mind. ... Don't scratch, the bugs aren't real.

  • mozarky2
    November 22, 2017 at 9:29 a.m.

    Well, dont, can you point out any untruths in my post? Didn't think so...

  • RBear
    November 22, 2017 at 9:43 a.m.

    Moz, quite a bit but your not open to listening as proven in the past. Your Kool-Aid stains are obvious.

  • drs01
    November 22, 2017 at 9:57 a.m.

    Surprisingly I agree with all but one of your arrows. The Democratic Party arrow is down, as is the Republican Party. Party politics haves not solved any of the problems facing this nation. Maybe it's time for them to just have a real fight. Republicans armed with guns, Democrats with ideals.
    As to the Clinton arrow, agree they should just go away and consider themselves fortunate that we don't remove their name from street signs, airports, libraries etc. Their appeal in Arkansas is less than even the 3000 who showed up this past weekend.

  • Packman
    November 22, 2017 at 10:10 a.m.

    Hey JB - Your lack of self-awareness and ingrained hypocrisy never ceases to amaze. What's the percentage of women offering opinions at your place of employment? That 51% thing is good for everyone else except you. SMH. Yet, I agree we need more women in our legislative bodies, women like Jan Morgan. Surely you agree JB, you being a women's advocate.

  • mozarky2
    November 22, 2017 at 10:26 a.m.

    I didn't think you could find any untruths there, RB.
    That never stopped you from launching one of your uninformed, immature, infantile, irrelevant, spittle-flecked invectives, though.
    Well, I'm off to see if I can think of something nice to say about you, RB, in the spirit of the holidays, and all.

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