Dear Mahatma: We frequently drive U.S. 67/167 between Little Rock and Searcy and regularly see roadside remains of airborne furniture: chairs, chair segments, bookcases, sofa cushions, coolers. (Does that count as furniture? Let's say household goods.) Can you counsel the public to become familiar with the concept of tie-downs, sturdy ropes, and carabiners and to not rely on gravity alone for transport? The image of chairs hurtling through the air toward one's windshield is unsettling. -- Jennie
Dear Jennie: Perhaps you also drive over the Interstate 30 bridge, where the trash -- mattress, spare tire or, yes, cooler -- is regrettable.
All we can do here is remind people of Arkansas Code Annotated 8-6-406, "Unlawful to litter," which reminds all of us that "It shall be unlawful to drop, deposit, discard, or otherwise dispose of litter upon any public or private property in the state or upon or into any river, lake, pond, or other stream or body of water within this state."
We can add Arkansas Code Annotated 27-35-110, "Spilling loads on highways prohibited." It says that "No vehicle shall be driven or moved on any highway unless the vehicle is so constructed or loaded as to prevent any of its load from dropping, sifting, leaking, or otherwise escaping therefrom."
Just for fun, and to reflect the reality of what Jennie sees on U.S. 67/167, let's change "No vehicle" to "No pickup loaded up with piles of random household goods."
Finally, we want to throw in Arkansas Code Annotated 8-6-418, "Possession of glass containers on navigable waterways." It says that except for medicines, "no person shall possess or use glass containers within a vessel within the banks of Arkansas' navigable waterways."
Our suspicion is that any dude who doesn't properly secure a load in his pickup is likely to take a 12-pack of cheap bottled beer on a Buffalo River float. May fleas, ticks and chiggers inhabit his shorts.
The Fabulous Babe believes we don't put enough vanity plates in the newspaper. Truth is, 500 words goes fast. Boom -- outta room.
So here are a whole bunch.
SNWHITE -- Seen on a white Camaro.
LIV2EAT -- Seen on a white Subaru at Whole Foods.
GASFREE -- Seen downtown on a white Tesla.
CLASACT -- Seen on a maroon Jeep.
JOYLIFE -- Seen in Little Rock on a Mercedes ragtop. (That's a convertible, for those who have never owned or longed for one.)
COLBERT -- Seen at Fair Park Boulevard and Interstate 630.
KRINGLE -- Seen on a Mercedes and timely for the season.
KNOT2DAY -- Seen on an Audi. This reminds us of tech guys who could fix our computer, but not today.
MYBMBLB -- Seen on a black and yellow Dodge.
NVR L8 -- Seen on a yellow Ford Mustang GT. A 2019 GT would have horsepower from 310 to 480, BTW.
Fjfellone@gmail.com
Metro on 12/29/2018