Today is World Day Against Child Labor.
Which is going to make me and what I'm about to tell you -- how I recently put my 3-year-old children to work -- seem even worse.
Yes, I recently got my kiddies -- well, kitties -- a job.
In my defense, the formula for cat years goes something like this: After two years, cats are about 24 in human years; they age about four years each year after.
So it was high time, Kate and Pippa, who by those calculations are 28, got their Red Point Siamese tails in gear and started contributing -- and more than just stray fur fluffs and the occasional hairball -- to the household.
Kate and Pippa are no longer lazy, lounging freeloaders.
Kate and Pippa are lazy, lounging freeloading social media stars. Well, they will be if they ever get more than the paw-ltry 111 followers they currently have.
Kate and Pippa -- make that Kate_n_Pippa -- now have an Instagram page (instagram.com/kate_n_pippa). And they would really appreciate if you all went there right now, hit "follow" and then "heart" all their adorable photos.
Pet pages are still cat-ching on. After all, @RealGrumpyCat -- who really shouldn't be so sour considering Internet fame has led to endorsements, a book, stuffed animals and even a Christmas movie on Lifetime -- has some 2.5 million Instagram followers. And ItsDougThePug, who also has a book and stuffed animals and clothing line that includes a holiday Knitted Pugly Sweater, has even more -- a fur-ocious 3.4 million followers.
Celebrities have started pages for their pets. Good Morning America's Robin Roberts has a page (more than 4,000 followers) for her rescued Tibetan Spaniel Papillon mix: Lil_Man_Lukas. Lukas once responded to my friend's dog @Buddy_The_Lumpy_ Beagle; that was doggone exciting.
Another TV personality, Bravo's Andy Cohen's rescued beagle mix Wacha has not only a "Mastiff" following of 220,000 followers for his Instagram, @TheRealWacha, but a Purina endorsement deal.
So why not Kate and Pippa, the duo formerly known as Yin and Yang when they were housed at the Little Rock Animal Village? After all, they're rather colorful, as they express in their bio: "Kate and Pippa here! Your 'meowjesties' are sibling Arkansas rescue cats, but our Mum thinks we're British royalty."
About that British royalty thing, we got the idea that their Instagram should go live in time for a fitting royal occasion -- the wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. While I should have been thinking of capitalizing on hashtags, I was fixated on costuming in hats.
Cat fascinators! Surely Amazon would have them, and they did -- a set of five jaunty feather-adorned miniature hats in an array of colors for about $10.
They would love them.
No. They would loathe me.
I promised they only had to don them long enough to get a purr-fect picture. While dear, dutiful Kate was compliant, sweet, stubborn Pippa was defiant, sending me into a momentary Cat Mommy Dearest meltdown. I eventually got one snap, and luckily she's not the type to snap back. I posted their hat pics (caption: "We're all dressed up for the royal wedding! Our Mum had a 'fascinating' time getting us to wear these!") and yet another #catsofInstagram account was born.
It's been fun making new cat friends from all around the world, like Lily the ragdoll from Madrid, and Takaki, a British short hair -- oh look, a true Brit! -- who lives in Osaka, Japan. We've even made some dog friends, like Rafael the Italian greyhound, and Teddy, the Morkie (Maletese/Yorkie mix), a "blogger" and "model" from Los Angeles.
We're not kitten ourselves. We've got a long way from "pet influencer" status, so we don't anticipate any free kibble or lu-cat-ive business partnerships anytime soon.
We'll definitely not be getting a deal with Roomba after posting the picture of Kate cowering beneath the bureau to avoid the robotic vacuum (caption: "It appears Kate won't be riding the Roomba in a shark costume anytime soon").
We did, however, get a "like" from iRobot, the social-media-savvy company that makes Roomba.
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What's in a Dame is a weekly report from the woman 'hood.
Style on 06/12/2018
Print Headline: Kitty kids work it on Instagram