Things could be worse, you could have Koumpounophobia

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that on any given day, more than one-third of U.S. adults eat fast food.

The figure is based on data collected between 2013 and 2016 by a study that found 45 percent of adults ages 20 to 39 eating fast food on a given day, compared to 24 percent of adults ages 60 and older.

The CDC also found that as family income levels went up, so too did fast-food consumption. Forty-two percent of higher-income adults chowed down on fast food in a given day, compared to 32 percent of lower-income adults.

COUNTS

1 in 7: U.S. adults who have diabetes

1 in 4: Estimated U.S. adults who have diabetes but don't know it

— Source: CDC

BODY OF KNOWLEDGE

■ After age 30, the brain begins to lose neurons at a rate of about 50,000 per day, shrinking by about 0.25 percent of its mass each year.

■ A cough can be expelled at up to 60 miles per hour, but it's a sneeze that really breaks the law, reaching speeds in excess of 100 mph.

■ Gums are renewed every one to two weeks.

DOC TALK

Obdormition: the numb feeling that you awake to when you've slept on your arm wrong, followed by paresthesia, the prickling, tingling (pins and needles) sensation. The former is caused by sustained pressure on a nerve, inhibiting function; the latter by the nerve's recovery when the pressure is gone.

DOE: A medical abbreviation for dyspnea on exertion, dyspnea meaning shortness of breath. It can be a symptom of a wide variety of conditions or ailments, including asthma, pneumonia, heart disease or panic disorder.

Embolectomy: Surgical removal of an embolus or blood clot.

Crump: To physically decline rapidly, as in the patient "crumped" overnight.

Champagne tap: A successful lumbar puncture with no red blood cells present, which means it is as clean as possible. The champagne reference comes from the custom of celebrating the difficult feat with a bottle of champagne.

PHOBIA, MANIA

Automatonophobia: Fear of ventriloquist dummies or wax statues

Rhinotillexomania: Compulsive nose-picking

Pteridomania: An obsessive passion for ferns (most people can take them or leaf them).

Koumpounophobia: Fear of buttons

COMPETITIVE EATING

The Major League Eating record for crinkle-cut french fries is 4.46 pounds in six minutes, held by Cookie Jarvis, and 7.9 pounds of Curley's fries in 10 minutes, held by Bob Shoudt. According to Guinness World Records, Andre Ortolf drank a standard bottle of ketchup in 17.53 seconds (using a straw).

SELF-EXAM

Q: Where is your skin thickest and thinnest?

A: Generally speaking, it is thickest on the soles of your feet (1.4 millimeters) and thinnest on your eyelids (0.2 millimeters).

OBSERVATION

"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook."

— Julia Child (1912-2004)

MEDICAL MYTHS

In 2008, a widely reported study found that the more overweight one is, the healthier.

Study authors reported that being 5 to 10 pounds overweight offered added protection from ailments ranging from tuberculosis to Alzheimer's disease. Even more excess poundage supposedly improved recovery from pneumonia and various other infections. And outright obesity purportedly improved eyesight, fended off cancers and reversed baldness.

The study was a hoax, which should have been obvious to readers perusing the purported funding agencies: McDonald's, Burger King, Taco Bell, Domino's Pizza, Sara Lee and Krispy Kreme.

STORIES FOR THE WAITING ROOM

Researchers believe they have identified the gene that, when it goes awry, makes gentle touch feel painful — a condition known as tactile allodynia. Interestingly, the gene is also responsible for helping us sense our place in space.

GOOD MEDICINE

Wife: So, how did your visit to the doctor go?

Husband: Well, apparently my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Wife: That's all?

Husband: Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

BETTER MEDICINE

A professional bagpipe player was asked by a funeral director to perform at a graveside service for a man who had no family or friends, but who reportedly had been an aficionado of Scottish music.

Unfortunately, on the day of the funeral, the bagpiper got lost and arrived late.

He saw no one at the cemetery but a group of workers around a hole in the ground. They were eating lunch. The bagpiper peered into the ground and saw the metal top of the burial vault. He felt great remorse at missing the service and for his failure to honor the deceased.

Pulling out his pipes, he began to play, better than he had ever played before.

Soon, the workers gathered around him. They wept. The bagpiper wept. It was a beautiful moment, and the bagpiper felt both joy and redemption as he packed away his instrument and headed back to his car.

"I've never seen anything like that before," said one worker, "and I've been putting in septic tanks for 20 years."

BEST MEDICINE

Patient: "Doctor, whenever I get up after sleeping, I feel dizzy for half an hour, and then I'm fine. What can I do?"

Doctor: "Wait half an hour before getting up."

HYPOCHONDRIAC'S GUIDE

Blue rubber bleb nevus syndrome is a rare condition involving malformation of the venous system, both in the skin and visceral organs. Patients end up with extremely painful, constantly bleeding lesions.

Style on 11/12/2018

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