In the event we encounter another Facebook Clone Wars fiasco like last week, I've put together this survival guide.
1. Get a crazy message from a friend. Like this one:
Heads-up!! Accounts are being icloned. Your picture and your name are used to create a new face book account (they don't need your password to do this this). They want your friends to add them to their Facebook account. Your friends will think that it's you and accept your request. From that point on they can write what they want under your name. I have NO plans to open a new account. Please DO NOT accept a 2nd friend request from "me". please forward to all your contacts.
2. Think "Oh, no! I need to forward to all my contacts!"
3. But don't.
4. Wait.
5. Panic. Let the paranoia set in. Freak out internally.
6. Then stop.
7. Deep breath.
8. All better? No? Repeat No. 7 until calm.
9. When you've fully mellowed, slowly and rationally read the message again.
10. Look for spelling/grammatical errors. Like "icloned." Really, what the heck is "icloned?"
11. Look for other oddities/inconsistencies. Notice how they say a one-word capitalized "Facebook" in one instance and then a two-word lower-case "face book" in another? Notice how they say a capitalized "Please" at the beginning of one sentence and a lower-case "please" at the bottom of another.
12. Think, "Maybe if there are problems with the mechanics, there are problems with the logic, too."
13. Visit Snopes.com, "the oldest and largest fact-checking site on the Internet," do a search by typing in relevant words ("Facebook clone") or by visiting the Hot 50.
14. Read what you find. Like, this article: "Are Facebook Pirates 'Cloning' Accounts?" Text: "Facebook cloning is not a 'new scam,' nor is there any evidence that its occurrence has increased greatly in recent days."
15. Look for the Snopes rating: "Mostly False."
16. Realize that most of what's on Snopes is going to be mostly, if not totally, false.
17. Assure your friend that what they sent is not true ... hey, wait. You've got another message in Messenger.
18. Read more scaremongering from a different friend:
Hi....I actually got another friend request from you yesterday...which I ignored so you may want to check your account. Hold your finger on the message until the forward button appears...then hit forward and all the people you want to forward too....I had to do the people individually. Good Luck! PLEASE DO NOT ACCEPT A NEW ONE FROM ME AT THIS TIME."
19. Repeat steps two through nine.
20. Look for spelling/grammatical errors. No major ones.
21. Look for other oddities/inconsistencies. That's....a....whole....lot....of....ellipses. And a LOT OF ALL CAPS, TOO.
22. Repeat steps 12 through 17.
23. Read yet another alarmist message from different friend:
New scam on Facebook ... There is now "Pirates" who copy your profile picture and asks for friendship in your name with a new account. Do not accept any requests in my name since this is my only account ... Thanks to all ... Copy this post to the wall ... Recommended to all your contacts."
24. Repeat steps two through nine.
25. Look for spelling/grammatical errors. Some real doozies here: "There is now 'Pirates' who copy your profile picture and asks." Gasp! Feel far more terrified of the terrible grammar than the "Pirates." Argh!
26. Enough. You "is now" officially tired of all this hoax nonsense and horrible grammar and all you "asks" is for some relief.
27. Realize that the alleged Facebook cloning wouldn't be such a horrible thing after all. Actually, it would be fantastic!
28. There would be more of "you" to help you deal with all your hysterical friends.
PLEASE DO WRITE AN EMAIL AT THIS TIME:
jchristman@arkansasonline.com
Spin Cycle is a weekly smirk at pop culture.
Style on 10/14/2018