I can't resist a hot topic like a 2,000-mile wall that's 15 or 20 feet tall. Would it reduce immigration? Is it worth the money, and what about the expense to patrol and repair? And would it produce jobs?
We need to think big, and a see-through steel fence won't cut it. We should hire a Chinese engineer because the Chinese have a long history of walls, and we need to out-do the Chinese. Those boys know walls, and if the money's right, they would give us an impressive wall, like a "You can see it from space" look because a true Chinese-style keep-those-suckers-out wall would need patrols and substations for Border Patrol officers.
Using the Chinese model of security and patrols would make the wall more impressive since it would be wide enough to drive a Jeep on top of it and every mile would have a Border Patrol substation. Just think of the job creation! Since you would need at least two Border Patrol officers at each substation, we would have a net gain of over 4,000 jobs. But we're just scratching the surface when it comes to jobs.
But before we review those jobs let's consider the most important question: Would the wall reduce immigration? If it cuts off every access point into the U.S. from Mexico, is directed by a Chinese engineer, is wide enough to drive a Jeep on, and is properly patrolled, it will substantially reduce immigration by as much ad 75 percent.
Now let's talk about who are the 75 percent that we have stopped from entering the U.S. That's an easy one. It's women, children, old folks, and the disabled. Who knows? There might be a kid suicide bomber in the bunch, but what about the other 25 percent? What about the 20-year-old mules carrying 10 kilos of heroin, or the other crooks, rapists, and drug lords? Do you think even a super Chinese wall with machine gun-toting agents every mile will stop them?
That's where Mexico's job creation kicks in. Think of the ways to get over around or under the wall, and you will see what I mean. First let's consider the new unofficial Mexican navy. When the wall ends at the Gulf of Mexico on South Padre Island in south Texas at the waters of the Gulf, you can walk around it unless you build it out deeper than in six feet of water. I've been on the beach there and walked out 100 yards and was only in chest deep.
But let's say we extend it offshore another 100 yards. You could swim, get a little boat, or use an inner tube to get around it. By the time the wall is built, a fleet of hundreds of the new Mexican navy boats will be ready to be launched. There aren't enough Coast Guard ships in the world to patrol the entire gulf, since almost any size boat could circle around the end of the wall. But that's only half of the navy. The other half would be stationed in California.
There are more jobs to be created in Mexico. Enter the new Mexico Air Force that will be made up of anything that will fly. If you have ever rafted down the Rio Grande River in Texas' Big Bend National Park, you can stand on one of the 100-foot canyon walls in Mexico and hang glide into the U.S.A. wall snaking through those canyons will be a construction marvel. Beyond hang gliders there are hot-air balloons and actual planes--more Mexico job creation.
But we're not finished. I'm not sure the Orange Man understands Mexican technology. If the wall is 15 feet tall, those high-tech Mexicans will have thousands of 17-foot ladders just waiting. Just think of the Mexican factories turning out 17-foot ladders. I envision another caravan from the mines in southern Mexico and from other Central American countries heading for the border made up of miners, and they'll dig, dig, dig until there is a near freeway under the border--another source of jobs for Mexico. Heck, the Mexicans should pay for the wall!
As a side note, and this is a downer--the Laredo City Council voted unanimously to oppose the wall and ranchers all along the U.S. side of the river are prohibiting anything to do with the wall on their land. Obviously those folks don't understand tourism or job creation.
But if we really do end up building the wall, we shouldn't hold back on expense. After all, this is an opportunity to challenge the Great Wall of China, the Pyramids, and the Eiffel Tower. Why pass up what could be an over-the-top 23rd-century tourist destination? Texas could really use a good tourist attraction. The Bush and LBJ libraries don't cut it, and if the Democrats will just turn the Orange Man's purse strings loose, Texas could have a World Heritage site that would attract thousands, not counting the ones who will come to climb over it.
At the dedication the president of the United States and the president of Mexico could stand side by side, and as the president of Mexico thanks the U.S. for all the jobs created, Pink Floyd could sing "Another Brick in the Wall."
I can hear the tourist bus guide now, "We're approaching the Eagle Pass section of Trump's wall---note the Mexican scaling ladders."
Email Richard Mason at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Editorial on 01/20/2019
Print Headline: RICHARD MASON: Another brick in the wall