It's never been easier to make your own whiskey.
Not that it has ever been hard. Fermentation is a natural process. All you need is a bit of the specialized fungi we call yeast. The Sumerians were brewing beer in 3200 B.C.; birds can become buzzed (or dangerously drunk) on fermented berries. Once you figure out that water has a higher boiling point than ethyl alcohol, you can start to get fancy distilling hooch.
These days you can buy copper stills off the Internet -- $500 will buy a six-gallon still made of 22-gauge sheet copper and lead-free solder complete with "pot, thumper, worm and cap" that "produces so much more than just moonshine. Use it to desalinate saltwater and purify freshwater; make essential oils, perfumes and antiseptics; make marinade for meats and poultry; and even manufacture ethanol fuel to run engines or heat your home."
The cost-conscious can get a three-gallon version for $100 less.
While it's legal to own your own still, it's not exactly legal to make your own whiskey. You can make wine or beer at home for personal consumption, and distill ethanol for fuel if you obtain the proper permits. But any still setup for the production of distilled spirits must be registered with the federal government. Production or distribution without having first received a permit and paying the mandatory taxes is illegal, even if you don't plan on selling or otherwise distributing what you produce.
Furthermore, Arkansas law makes it illegal to own, possess or transport a still without a state permit. The same goes for a still's component parts, like a cooling coil. State law prohibits producing liquor without a license or distributing liquor that has been illegally made.
And this is serious: Violating the state's liquor law is a felony. If they catch you making whiskey they can (and will) seize your still and auction it off.
So don't try it at home.
There's a fairly good reason for the state to regulate alcohol distilling. When you have alcohol vapor in proximity to fire, there's a potential for explosions. Plus, if you screw up, the whiskey you produce can be deadly. You don't want to drink anything an inexperienced, incompetent or indifferent moonshiner has produced. Just because it's easy to buy copper stills on the Internet doesn't mean everybody goes to all that trouble. A lot of stills are still made from automobile radiator parts.
A lawyer friend of mine remembers a long-ago client who woke up blind one day.
When he went to the doctor, the doctor attributed it to drinking the methanol-heavy hooch he and his buddies had been making from a radiator still. The residual antifreeze might have enhanced the taste -- antifreeze is allegedly delicious, thanks to its main active ingredient ethylene glycol, a colorless and odorless syrup with a sweet taste that mixes well with soda, juice and other sugary beverages -- but enough of it will kill you stone dead.
In this case, the doctor allowed that "maybe his sight would come back" if he left off the 'shine.
IN THE JAR
Anyway, I'm pretty content to lay off the 'shine myself, seeing how I prefer my whiskey a little aged. But in the interests of journalism, I sometimes try some that has been vouchsafed by a reliable source.
Over the years I have heard of a possibly apocryphal operation located somewhere in southwest Missouri. This place has been described as hospital clean and high tech and capable of churning out thousands of gallons of high quality, highly illegal white lightning a month. Maybe it exists.
All I know is I'm holding a jar of pretty good moonshine for a friend who allowed me a taste. I didn't die or go blind. It did not reduce me to a hacking, wheezing wreck. It was stout, but not in an unpleasant way (I've had cask strength Macallan's and Booker's straight up, so I'm not going to wilt at 125 proof). It was viscous, fragrant and earthy, closer to tequila than gin, but with some ginny overtones. It wasn't bad. It was far better than the legal mass-produced commercial moonshines I've tried (most of which seem like novelty items). I can see how someone might develop a taste for it.
I asked after its provenance.
You understand how that could be problematic. But my friend said he'd try, and a day later I was in touch not with the producer of the 'shine but with a knowledgeable fellow traveler who has a relationship with the artisan. And he was willing to tell me a few things.
First, the practical matter. He drinks the product, known as Wildcat. He likes it, although he allows that part of the appeal is the outlaw romance of illegal whiskey. He pays about $125 a gallon, which works out to about $24 per 750 ml, which is comparable to what one might pay for a premium brand-name product. (My go-to bourbon, Knob Creek, can usually be had for about $29.)
Here's more of what he told me:
"[It]was created just north of the Arkansas border by a very aged fellow who used to Keep Church (as he calls it), in small communities in the Missouri Ozarks.
"It is not created for his personal gain, but rather as a fundraiser to help maintain a small church that is now used as a community center of sorts and sometimes a polling place. The congregation basically aged out and left him with it. He puts great sentimental value on his past days preaching and tending to his flock and feels obligated to support the community building.
"He got into it via his family, who has made spirits forever for their own use. His first job as a boy was making sure that the yeast strain that they used was maintained and kept vital year 'round, watching the temperatures and feeding of the culture.
"His dad, grandfather and uncles all taught him how to create mash 'Beer' as he calls it.
"His grandfather brought him into the ministry; his dad was a farmer and mechanic. He can create liquor pretty much from anything that the yeast can turn into alcohol, from horse feed (when he had nothing else) to cracked corn. I know now he uses ground corn and sugar and rye that he grinds himself. The 'PopSkull' (these are terms he has used in front of me) was created using cherries from my place for flavor and sugar content to create mash, and his yield was high from them; that is, it appears to be 55 to 60 percent alcohol after proofing. Pretty hot compared to legal booze mostly. I really cannot taste any cherry flavor in it, but that may just be me ... "
ELUSIVE FLAVORS
Let me interject that I don't detect any cherry flavor either. The flavor is closer to that of grappa, which is made from pomace -- the grape seeds, stalks and stems discarded in the wine-making process -- than anything else.
"I have seen him use apples and pears also. I have also seen him sprout whole corn kernels by wetting them on a white cotton canvas and keeping them moist and warm. Sprouted corn spirits is his favorite flavor ...
"The water is obtained from an old and deep limestone well. He runs a hose and a pump down it to draw water. Heat is propane burner."
The source says he came to be involved with the moonshiner because he does some metal work. He was friends with a guy who knew the moonshiner's son. One day he brought him a few pieces of copper and valves that had been causing the moonshiner problems.
"I welded them up with pure copper so they were great at holding heat and pressure and did not offer any lead, zinc or any other heavy metal contamination into the still. I guess he was pleased, as a gallon of his best product came my way. As the years progressed, I made some fixes to equipment until I was summoned one winter and did a rebuild on bottom and cap of a very old, very heavy old copper still.
"So I was 'in' -- trusted.
"Every year, I hold my breath fearing that the gent has passed or has grown too old (he has to be approaching 90!), but every year I get the call to come share in the bounty by his son, who has appeared to have taken up the craft. Good.
"I say 'craft,' as they do it not for great profit, but rather for just enough funds between friends to keep the building fixed and insured.
"I have installed sinks and doors in their building as payment and find my vehicle loaded up when evening comes. I never see the carrier who places it into my unlocked car.
"The men are clean, the gear is spotless, they are interested and good homegrown cooks who understand the chemistry through experience and teaching through generations. They enjoy carrying on the family craft. I trust their liquor and methods and actually find that it has good flavor and nose. There is nothing in their entire operation that will sicken or hurt you; all is done the slow way with the mash, and the still is nothing but stainless steel and pure copper, the water faultless.
"I cannot take any pics nor video, and although it is a tale that would be great to show and tell, it will never be. He says that he has 'married and buried' so many local folks that would not like the liquor angle. Pretty old-fashioned. I respect his wishes entirely. I truly think they are the last of the small and traditional makers.
"There are other folks locally that I know make shine, but is not of this quality. Anything off-the-shelf is made for profit and is mostly corn and sugar and made quickly. The spirits are raw-tasting and sort of take your breath away with very little flavor.
"Where's the fun in drinking that?"
Indeed.
Email:
pmartin@arkansasonline.com
blooddirtangels.com
Style on 01/27/2019