Tracie Hughes first saw Will Phillips as just a cute guy with a car. He quickly acquired the titles of best friend, boyfriend, ex-boyfriend and even boyfriend again -- and again. It took him 20 years, though, to rise to the rank of husband.
In 1990, Tracy, an incoming freshman at Spelman College in Atlanta, went on a five-day training session with the ROTC. At the end of the session, her group was dropped off at Morehouse College in Atlanta two hours ahead of schedule so Tracy called to ask her mother for a ride. Her mother was at work, and she told Tracy she would need to wait there for a while.
The first time I saw my future spouse, I thought:
She says: “I hope he has a car.”
He says: “I hope she has money.”
On our wedding day:
She says: “A homeless guy walked by as we were about to get married and he asked if he could stay and watch. He was so cordial, so polite.”
He says: “This defines the simplicity of our lives — we’re not big on flashy or showy — we left the courthouse and we went to Hardees for breakfast.”
My advice for a long happy marriage:
She says: “Be very true to yourself. Say what you want, and love them as hard and as honestly as you can, because what you put in, that’s exactly what you get back.”
He says: “You’ve got to be able to look beyond what the immediate argument or disagreement is. It’s not about being right. It’s about being together.”
"Being the very intelligent, mature college freshman that I was, I threw a tantrum," says Tracy, who at that point just simply wanted to go home.
Her mother, cool as a cucumber, reminded her that she was a cute girl at an all-boys school.
"She said, 'Are there any cute boys walking around?' and I'm looking around and I say, 'Yeah.' And she says, 'Stop 'em!'" Will happened to be walking by, says Tracie. "So I said, 'Hey you!'"
Phone still in hand, Tracie heard her mother tell her to ask the cute boy if he had a car. He did. Her mother instructed her to offer to pay for his gas if he would drive her home.
"I was like, 'Sold,'" Will says.
Tracie saw Will, a sophomore, at parties that semester and at one of them he told her about another party that was happening and offered her a ride. He started driving her around, and they developed a deep friendship.
The following summer, Will was working nights to pay for school, so he would pick Tracie up and they would spend the afternoon at his apartment, sleeping together.
"Literally sleeping," she clarifies, lest someone get the wrong idea. "We would talk and then sleep and then wake up and talk some more and then he would bring me home, and we just kept doing this about four times a week."
When he wasn't working, they would get pizza and watch James Bond movies -- and talk.
School had started back up before they went on their first date.
"We were broke college students but for $10 he could take me to dinner and to see a movie," she says.
Their first kiss happened on a moonlit walk through Piedmont Park.
"I remember looking over at her and leaning in to kiss her," he says.
"It shocked me," she says. "I took a step back -- and if I had taken another step back I would have fallen off the dock into the water."
Then there was a fight and their relationship abruptly ended.
They didn't talk for eight years, when Tracie, then working in Washington, returned home for a visit and stopped by to talk with Will's family. His mother wasn't there, but his stepfather welcomed her and later suggested that Will call her.
Will intended to have a quick chat, but the call rekindled their relationship ... which ended badly once again.
Another eight years went by and in 2011, Will sent Tracie a casual social media message. By the time she responded he had all but forgotten he had sent it. He dropped by to see her on a trip to Atlanta and they decided to try being friends again.
"I figured what could happen? I mean, I was working in Arkansas and she was 71/2 hours away in Atlanta," Will says.
Will and his stepfather, though, had a discussion.
"He's like, 'Listen, just do the right thing this time. You should have married her a long time ago,'" Will recalls. "I said, 'Pop, you're probably right. I should have, but I wasn't mature enough.'"
Will and Tracie talked about what each expected of a spouse and where they would live if they got married.
"Once we had all those answers, I gave him a drop dead date," she says. "I said, 'As long as you ask me by this date, you will not have any grief out of me.' In typical Will fashion, he waited until like three days before the drop dead date."
"That was probably me being obstinate," he quips.
They were married on Dec. 28, 2011, on the grounds of the Hamilton County Courthouse in Chattanooga, Tenn.
Tracie was reluctant to leave her job as a senior information assurance analyst with the Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta but eventually arranged to work remotely and moved to Little Rock. Will is the public affairs officer for the Arkansas National Guard.
Their untraditional path to marriage suits them well, they say.
"Everyone is the sum of their previous experiences. I truly believe that our previous experiences have made us a better unit, a better couple, a better team," Will says. "There was a lot more maturing I had to do on my part, and I'm a better husband for her now."
"And I think I'm a better wife for him," Tracie says. "We have a great life together."
If you have an interesting how-we-met story or if you know someone who does, please call (501) 425-7228 or email:
kimdishongh@gmail.com
High Profile on 07/21/2019