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I have a hard time getting dressed in the mornings.

At 56 years old, I’m not ready to totally give up fashion, but I’m also not sure what that is these days.

Shopping takes too much time, and I can’t seem to find anything I like. I seem to either go into stores that have shirts posing as dresses for people whose legs don’t look like road maps, like mine do; or shapeless, styleless clothes.

Can I do a French tuck? That’s where you tuck only the middle part of your shirt into your pants. Do I wear a belt or not? Fashion is hard.

A friend posted on Facebook the other day that she was ready for “jeans with holes to go!”

I just bought my first pair.

When I was getting my nails done one afternoon, I started chatting with the woman sitting next to me.

She mentioned a brand of jeans she liked that she found at a discount store for about half the price they are online.

“They’re a little higher up to cover up the mom bump,” she said, referring to the tummy women often get after they have babies and the abs turn to flab.

My problem area is really on the other side of my body. But, (one T) I went out the next day and found the jeans she was talking about and bought a pair. I have them on as I am writing this. They are a little stretchy, and they have a hole in the knee. It looks like I was climbing over a barbed-wire fence and got my pants caught.

They’re in style, from what I see — but on 56-year-old women? I don’t know. When a new style hits the market, I usually can’t decide if I like it until it’s about ready to go out; then I buy it.

My mother took me clothes shopping for my birthday in August. She has opinions about how I dress, as most mothers do. She always looks classy and stylish, with the perfect shoes and jewelry. And she irons everything.

I came away with some cool clothes, including a white shirt that I thought was too big but my mother assured me was in style and wasn’t supposed to be form-fitting. I got some pants in a slinky fabric that are like wearing pajama bottoms. I got a camo long-sleeved top for fall that is either cute or makes me look like I’m going duck-hunting with my son — I’m not sure.

My closet is full of clothes I never wear, even though I’ve cleaned it out recently and sold a lot in a garage sale. Like everyone, I have those “they’ll-fit-when-I-lose-10-pounds” clothes. I tried on a shirt the other day that was so tight on my arms I thought I was going to have to cut the sleeves to get it off.

It’s fall, but it’s been 90-plus degrees, so that makes it harder to get dressed, too. My office is freezing most of the time, so I wear short-sleeved shirts and take a polar fleece to wear over them. That’s a look.

This morning when I was putting on my new jeans, my foot went through the rip in the knee, and I almost fell face first on the bathroom floor.

Maybe I am too old for fashion.

Senior writer Tammy Keith can be reached at (501) 327-5671 or


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