There are stupid penalties.
And then there are really stupid penalties.
But this will go down as one of the most inexplicably, inexcusably, indescribably stupidest of stupid penalties in college football history.
Florida Gators legend Steve Spurrier once mockingly referred to arch rival FSU as Free Shoes U., but now UF has its own infamous footwear moniker. The Gators must now change their name to FSU -- Fling Shoe U.
Junior cornerback Marco Wilson made one of the most monumental mental gaffes imaginable late Saturday night when he tackled LSU receiver Kole Taylor for a gain of just 4 yards on a 3rd-and-10 from the Tigers' 25-yard-line with 1:51 left in a tied game. Gator fans watching on television breathed a sigh of life. Their team would surely get the ball back, drive down the field and escape with a 37-34 win on a field goal from reliable kicker Evan McPherson.
Except Wilson, after making the tackle of Taylor, wound up with Taylor's shoe in his hand and made the split-second decision to toss the cleat down the field, through the foggy night and into the Mental Blunder Hall of Fame. No, it won't be as famous as Chris Webber calling the timeout in the 1993 national championship game or Pete Carroll's play call in the 2014 Super Bowl or Phil Mickelson's entire 18th hole at the 2006 U.S. Open, but it will regrettably live forever in the collective mind of Gator Nation.
After Wilson hurled the cleat, the yellow flags flew and referee James Carter got on the stadium public-address system and announced what had just happened.
"After the play, unsportsmanlike conduct on No. 11 of the defense for throwing the LSU's player shoe 20 yards down the field. ... Automatic first down."
Actually, Carter, misspoke. It wasn't No. 11 -- the jersey worn by Florida linebacker Mohamoud Diabate -- it was the No. 3 of Wilson. The TV commentators were so astounded that ESPN color analyst Todd Blackledge exclaimed incredulously, "I don't think I've ever heard an official announce throwing a player's shoe!"
Said an obviously disappointed Gators Coach Dan Mullen afterward: "We were going to have the opportunity to go win it and we get the personal foul."
But LSU, a 24-point underdog, had new life and the Tigers matriculated the ball close enough for kicker Cade York to hammer a 57-yard game-winning field goal with 23 seconds left.
LSU 37, Florida 34.
Give the Gators and quarterback Kyle Trask credit. They quickly completed three passes for 42 yards to get in position for McPherson to try a 51-yard, game-tying field goal to send the game into overtime. However, it wasn't to be. McPherson, who has one of the strongest, most-accurate legs in college football, pulled the kick slightly wide left and the LSU celebration commenced.
LSU stuns Gators after costly shoe throw penalty
"We needed a break and we got a break," LSU Coach Ed Orgeron said of Wilson's penalty.
Actually, you could say the Gators lost this game because of three shoes -- the shoe worn by York, the shoe worn by McPherson and the shoe flung by Wilson. However, it is Wilson's mistake that will go down in Gator infamy along with Fourth and Dumb, The Choke at Doak and Run, Lindsay, Run.
Except, unlike those other famous UF lowlights, this mistake contributed to costing Florida a potential chance at competing for a national championship. Yes, the Gators would have still had to accomplish the mammoth feat of beating No. 1 Alabama in the SEC Championship Game on Saturday to advance to the College Football Playoff semifinals, but now they will likely be left out of the playoff even if they somehow manage to beat the Crimson Tide.
When asked whether his two-loss Gators should get into the playoff if they win the SEC championship next weekend, Mullen took an apparent shot at Big Ten heavyweight Ohio State's five-game schedule.
"I know we've played 10 games," Mullen said. "So I guess probably the best thing to do would have been to play less games because you seem to get rewarded for not playing this year in college football."
Mullen makes a legitimate point about Ohio State only having played five games, but it's going to be hard for the committee to overlook Florida's loss in the Swamp to a downtrodden, scholarship-depleted LSU team playing with a true freshman quarterback in his first start on the road.
There are many reasons the Gators inexplicably lost this game -- turnovers, defensive breakdowns, UF's high-powered offense going three-and-out on three consecutive drives late in the game. But make no mistake about it, this game will forever be remembered for the cleat that Marco Wilson hurled into the foggy night.
All the Gators can do now is think about what might have been and say to themselves, "If the shoe fits, wear it."
Just don't throw it.