What this country needs is fewer people who know what this country needs. We’d be better off, in my opinion, without so many opinions. Especially without so many political opinions. Including my own.
Our nation faces a multitude of puzzling, complex and abstruse problems. Most Americans aren’t sure what to do about them. But we lack politicians with the courage to say, “I’m not sure what to do about them, either.” We even lack politicians with the courage to say, “I’m not sure what ‘abstruse’ means.”
The problem with opinions is that they’re not synonymous with accomplishing anything. I have three school-age children who have strong opinions about climate change but can’t remember to close the front door, even in mid-winter. The traditional dad line, “We’re not trying to heat the outdoors,” never worked, so now I appeal to their wokeness: “Hey, what are you, climate deniers?”
We need a political system that isn’t so darn sure of itself. It’s time for the rise of the Extreme Moderate. Power to the far middle!
The Extreme Moderates’ nonnegotiable demand? Negotiation. We won’t compromise until we see some compromising. We want political action . . . or inaction . . . it depends.
We may be on different sides of the fence, but let’s make that fence top wider and better padded and go sit on it. Then, no matter if I’m of conservative ilk and you’re of liberal stripe, we can have a neighborly chat.
Should the government be Laissez? Should the government be Faire?
Does Medicare-for-all mean young people have to wear trifocals and Depends and trade their bicycles for walkers?
If taxpayer money is used to pay for political campaigns, do taxpayers have 90 days to return politicians for a full refund?
Animal rights are important, but what about animal responsibilities?
These are all relevant questions. Let’s discuss them while making social justice more sociable. Here, have a nip from my hip flask. We might be able to come to some accommodation.
If today’s political leaders would rather burn the milquetoast and ignore the wishes of the wishy-washy, Extreme Moderates should hang them out with the wash and they’ll be toast. Mixed-metaphorically speaking, of course, because harsh words are not our style.
Indeed, how to go about being an Extreme Moderate presents some problems. The kind of things that other extremists do seem so . . . extreme. But I do have one idea: Free speech should not only be protected, it should be compulsory. Everyone with a strong political opinion should be required to wear a sign proclaiming it.
Hang an “Immigration Is Ruining America” placard around your neck and see how you get treated by restaurant staff, Uber drivers, the people who change your hotel linen and your immigrant grandparents.
Go see your personal physician with “I Want the Government to Run Your Doctor’s Office” lettered in Magic Marker across your abdomen. “Sorry, Sen. Warren, but it looks like we’re going to have to remove your other appendix.”
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P.J. O’Rourke is a Post contributing columnist and is the editor in chief of the online magazine American Consequences.