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"Feed me, Seymour! Feed me all night long!"

--Audrey II

We got the email more'n a week ago from the state of Arkansas: Don't plant the seeds you got in the mail.

That is, the unsolicited seeds. From out of nowhere. Or at least Red China.

This poser has gone national. Apparently not just Arkansans are getting unsolicited packages full of seeds in their mailboxes. From coast to coast, people in other, lesser states are getting the packages, too. The feds are now on the case.

And the word is: Don't plant the things.

What kind of seeds are they? That's the whole point: Nobody around here seems to know. They could be anything. They could be harmless fruits or flowers. They could be an invasive species such as kudzu. For all the authorities know, these could be the seeds of harmful plants that, we dunno, eat rice or turn tomatoes brown or compete with watermelons.

More likely it's that some company on mainland China has put together another one of those brushing scams, in which they send products to folks then make up glowing reviews for their own wares online. This sounds like the most likely scenario.

But nobody knows. At least nobody in this part of the world. Not yet. So the word has gone out: Don't plant these seeds. They could grow in a pot, then the wind could take the pollen who-knows-where.

Can you imagine the produce version of the feral pig, or nutria rat, or snakehead fish? That was the case in "Little Shop of Horrors." You know how that went.


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