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DEAR ABBY: My wife's family drops by our home several times a week, usually unannounced. I don't mind them dropping in, but what does bother me is they bring their kids and expect us to feed them during the visits. It has gotten to the point that I hide our snacks and beverages in the bedroom because if I leave them in the cupboard, they disappear. They often end up eating the leftovers I had planned to be my lunch for the next day.

I have talked with my wife several times about this situation. She agrees with me, but she says there's nothing she can do about it. I wasn't brought up that way. I would never think of going to someone's home, opening up cupboards and helping myself to food without an invitation. Also, I'm retired and on a fixed income. Am I overreacting, and must I just keep my mouth shut?

-- Frustrated

DEAR FRUSTRATED: This is your wife's family, and she is the one who should deal with this. All she has to say is she would appreciate it if her relatives ask when they'd like some food or drinks because their foraging through your cupboards has created a problem for the two of you.

DEAR ABBY: For the past few years I have encountered a problem with cashiers in stores. I pay with cash and generally have change coming back to me. When the cashiers return my change, they hand it back in one big wad along with the receipt. When this happens, I must stop, lay everything down on the counter and separate the different denominations. Then I have to place the different bills into my wallet.

I have tried asking them to place the receipt into the bag, but they usually don't listen. Also, some of them reach for the next customer while I'm still putting my change away. It is so frustrating! Is there something I can do differently?

-- Bothered

DEAR BOTHERED: I have two suggestions. The first is to discuss your concerns with the store manager. The second is to shop elsewhere.

DEAR ABBY: I want to thank people who are kind, generous, big-hearted and considerate. Those unsung heroes deserve all the kudos we can give them, and they rarely receive the praise they are due. It would be a lot more difficult to get through life without people like them. I don't think I'd be alive today if not for the kindness they have shown me. To each and every one of you: From the bottom of my heart -- thank you!

-- Helped Beyond Measure

DEAR HELPED: I am glad you took the time to write to point out that good manners and compassion are alive and well, and demonstrated every day. Yes, there are individuals who are self-centered and others who were never taught the values you mentioned -- but many times I encounter individuals who practice the virtues you are lauding. Extending kindness to someone is beneficial not only for the recipient, but for the giver as well.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

High Profile on 03/15/2020


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