OPINION

BRADLEY R. GITZ: Some favorite things

As my family has spent time hibernating together, we've played a dinner table game where each of us picks our favorite this or that. It's all utterly random, which is what makes it fun. So some of mine:

• Fried chicken: Going to the dentist was my worst nightmare as a child, so my reward would be a stop afterwards at Colonel Sanders (as we called it then). It's not as consistent as Popeye's, but that supposed "secret recipe" still makes chicken that tastes different than any other. And the potatoes and gravy are the perfect side.

• Led Zeppelin album: There is probably no other band for which there is so much disagreement as to its best album. Ask six Zep fans which is their favorite and you are likely to get at least four or five different choices. Ask them a few years later and they are likely to have changed their minds, again. The one that was my favorite for so long (IV) is the one I now listen to least, and the one I used to listen to least (III) is now the one I listen to and like most.

• Single-malt Scotch: Scotch drinkers are always trying to find an affordable single-malt and then keep it to themselves so it stays affordable (anybody remember what happened to the price of Aberlour?), so at the risk of letting out the secret: McClelland's Highland. It's about a third of the price of Balvenie or Glenmorangie, but comes with 90 percent of the taste.

• Dog breed: I grew up with basset hounds, but for the past 13 years we've had a Jack Russell that barks at everything that moves, even leaves and tree branches, and is still the best soccer player I've ever seen (he can literally bounce the ball on his nose as he runs the length of the backyard).

• Candy bar: Butterfinger, narrowly over Snickers.

• Star Wars movie: The Empire Strikes Back (although our 5-year old always casts her vote for The Return of the Jedi, because of the furry Ewoks).

• Frozen pizza: It might not win many taste tests these days (the frozen pizza market having apparently experienced a major upgrade over time), but the concession stand at the outdoor movie theater and just about every neighborhood bar where I grew up served Tombstone Pepperoni.

• Gin: I've had pretty much the same drink order for decades now in any establishment that I think can adequately make it: Beefeater Martini with two olives. If they don't have Beef, then Bombay Sapphire or even Seagram's. But never Tanqueray.

• Disney sidekick: An inevitable result of being home for weeks on end with a 5-year old daughter is lots of Disney, and with lots of Disney comes the great debate over Disney sidekicks. There's always Baloo in Jungle Book, along with Timon and Pumbaa from The Lion King, Hei Hei from Moana and Sven the reindeer from Frozen. But the winner is Pascal the chameleon from Tangled.

• Wing sauce: We've developed a wings and pizza (Tombstone Pepperoni!!) with a movie tradition for Friday nights during the pandemic. And after sampling many over the years, the best for when the wings come out of the air fryer is Ott's Original Wing Sauce, from a small chain of restaurants in Missouri. Runner up: The Asian Zing from Buffalo Wild Wings.

• Fictional detective: We all went through our Sherlock Holmes and Hercule Poirot phases, and maybe also our Marlowe and Archer, but the favorite here is John D. MacDonald's Travis McGee, the "salvage consultant" who lives aboard his houseboat (the "Busted Flush") in Fort Lauderdale and drives a Rolls Royce that's been turned into a pickup.

• Star Trek character: It isn't Kirk, who was always off chasing skirts or giving corny speeches, or Scotty, who always said the engines couldn't take it any more even when you knew they would, and definitely not Bones, the quintessential bleeding-heart liberal, but Mr. Spock, who used that quality so short in supply in the human experience called logic (maybe because he was only half-human).

• Potato chips: This used to be a brand called Mrs. Mike's from Freeport, Ill., which my family and everybody else we knew bought in big tin cans. But a few years back, the feds, in their typical busybody fashion, forced them to change their cooking oil and they've never been able to get them to taste the same since.

So that means Zapp's "kettle" chips, with a special nod to the Salt & Vinegar (although for some reason nothing tastes better at a tailgate than plain old Ruffles with Dean's French Onion dip).

• NFL uniform/helmet: Most fans out of loyalty would say their team has the best outfits, but deep down we all know that the Dallas Cowboys do (who doesn't want a star on their helmet?). The only serious competition is the black and silver of the Raiders.

• French fries: McDonald's, of course. Also the best chicken nuggets and breakfast sandwich (what Cheech and Chong called the "Egg-a-muffin").

• Holiday: It was Christmas when you still believed in Santa. And it's Christmas again, when you have children who still believe in Santa.

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Freelance columnist Bradley R. Gitz, who lives and teaches in Batesville, received his Ph.D. in political science from the University of Illinois.

Editorial on 05/11/2020

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