LET’S TALK

LET’S TALK: Stars of yore sell things to Boomers

Actor Ernie Hudson of "Ghostbusters" fame, rapper-actor Ice-T of "Law and Order: SVU" and sportscaster Chris Berman ("Whoop!") are trying to get us to buy Carshield repair insurance for our out-of-warranty hoopties.

Former NFL legend "Broadway" Joe Namath — who once modeled pantyhose for a commercial selling same — tells us all the benefits we can access via the Medicare Coverage Helpline.

Alex Trebek, Mr. "Jeopardy," has extolled the virtues of Colonial Penn Life Insurance.

Actor Tom Selleck, he who used to wear the Daisy Duke shorts on "Magnum P.I.," looks all grandfatherly and sounds depressingly out of breath as he tries to sell us on reverse mortgages.

It appears that all the TV stations that cater to older viewers are rich with commercials featuring advanced-age celebrity spokesmodels who try to persuade or downright scare said viewers into buying stuff. Well at least the Medicare Coverage Helpline is supposedly free.

Nothing new about celebrities trying to sell us something. I remember boxing great Muhammad Ali selling D-Con insect spray, showing us how we could "whip roaches." Brady Bunch mama Florence Henderson selling Tang. Then-pint-size actress Kim Fields having a love affair with Mrs. Butterworth's syrup. Dick Van Dyke pushing Kodak cameras. Don Meredith pushing Lipton iced tea. Ricardo Montalban pushing the Chrysler Cordoba, with its soft Corinthian leather. Andy Griffith, aka Sheriff Andy Taylor and Ben Matlock, really getting into those Ritz crackers. And I've lost count of the commercials starring basketballer Shaquille O'Neal.

But now here all these old folks are — including and especially dudes we ladies used to have crushes on — telling us we need to buy this and sign up for that to make sure we have our finances in order, generate new financial sources or simply be prepared for heaven knows what.

In 2012, The New York Times did a story on "Aging Stars in a New Role: TV Pitchman." It mentions Robert Wagner, along with Patrick Duffy, Sally Field and Henry Winkler. "These aging actors are among a growing group of celebrities embracing new roles pitching products to aging baby boomers," according to the story. "They made their mark personifying youthful vigor in blockbuster hits; now they are starring in TV and YouTube infomercials promising to help seniors overcome the debilitating challenges of old age."

The piece goes on to even more bluntly refer to these commercial spokespeople as "no-longer-ready-for-prime-time celebrities willing to vouch for products in ads often shown during reruns of movies and TV shows they made during their salad days."

So far, I have not heeded the urging in any of these commercials. I suspect I'm not the only OK Boomer whose reaction is simply to sit there and wonder why Selleck didn't catch his breath before filming. Or wonder whether that's Hudson's real hair and get annoyed all over again about his fate at the end of the horror movie "Leviathan." Or wonder whether that's Namath's real hair while reminiscing about how he was fine as wine in the summertime during his football-field-dominating days. Or be disappointed because Berman didn't go "Whoop!" during his commercial. Or go, "Hey, isn't that the guy who played Olivia's old captain on 'Law and Order: SVU'?"

Come to think of it, Henderson didn't prompt me to drink Tang, either. And though I briefly owned a lemon-y old Cordoba back in the '80s, owned a Kodak camera at some point and poured a little Mrs. Butterworth's on my pancakes back in the day, neither Montalban, Van Dyke or Fields are owed credit.

As they say, sometimes the commercials are as entertaining as the shows. And hey, celebrities are sometimes as entertaining in TV commercials as they are, or were, on TV shows, in feature films, in sports arenas or at sports-commentary desks.

And just think ... You generations coming behind us can look forward to the likes of:

John Legend, Lil Yachty, the Justins — Timberlake and Bieber — urging you to get car-repair insurance.

Ariana Grande, Billie Eilish, Cardi B, Megan Thee Stallion shilling for sexy Depend undergarments, along with life insurance companies that will give you a policy no matter how long in the tooth you've gotten.

Kerry Washington, Jennifer Lawrence, Lupita Nyong'o, Margot Robbie, Blake Lively finally needing the body shapers they're advertising, and letting you know you'd better plan for those funerals.

Zac Efron, Michael B. Jordan, Armie Hammer, Derek Luke, all those actors named Chris selling — what else? — prostate supplements, hairplugs and yah, reverse mortgages.

Hi. I'm the Talkmistress, and I urge you to send email: hwillams@adgnewsroom.com

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