Dear Abby: My daughter is pregnant with her second child. Her first, my granddaughter, is 2, and the light of my life. I offered to take care of her when it’s time for my daughter to have the baby.
My daughter wants me to come to her house one day out of every weekend to learn my granddaughter’s routine. I have spent several weekends at her house doing this, but not every weekend. I work full time from home and also have a full-time rental business that I manage with my fiance.
Recently, my fiance has taken ill and is bedridden. Everything, including his care, has fallen on me. When I called my daughter to tell her I wouldn’t be able to come for the weekends because of this and my other responsibilities, she lost it and became hateful. I tried explaining that this is, hopefully, temporary and that I will still be able to do what I promised, to no avail. We are not talking. I am at a loss as to what to do. — Sidelined In Florida
Dear Sidelined: Give your pregnant, possibly hormonal, daughter time to cool off, and then contact her again to see if you can work out an arrangement that’s sensible. You already have your hands full, and the additional responsibilities may prevent you from caring for your grandchild as you had planned. If she unloads on you again, tell her you know she’s disappointed and so are you, but you can’t handle another abusive confrontation and end the conversation. She will manage. Trust me.
Dear Abby: My friend had a delicious dinner last night at a local restaurant. His meal cost $8, and he raved to the waitress about how incredible it tasted. He compared it favorably to the $70 dinner he’d had before. He then said he was “in and out for only $10.”
My response was, “Are you telling me you left a $2 tip for the most delicious meal you just ate?” He replied that he gave her a 25% tip and thought it was fair. I told him I thought he was cheap, and he could have given her more at the very least for her effort in serving him. He said I should write you and ask.
I realize a 20% to 25% tip is generally generous, but considering these times of pandemic and slower business, I think he could have done better. What do you think? —
Flabbergasted In Ohio
Dear Flabbergasted:
Truthfully, those who can afford to do so should give more. The restaurant business has been decimated because of the pandemic. That said, however, my suggestion would have been that your friend added a generous tip for the cook, sweating in the kitchen, who produced that memorable meal.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles,CA 90069 or visit
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