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Memento mori

A nun’s words of comfort: ‘You are going to die’ by RUTH GRAHAM THE NEW YORK TIMES | June 5, 2021 at 3:06 a.m.
Sister Theresa Aletheia Noble stands in the burial chapel at Boston’s Daughters of St. Paul convent. Alethia’s project of reviving the practice of memento mori has reached Catholics across the country via social media, a memento mori prayer journal — even merchandise emblazoned with a signature skull. (The New York Times/Tony Luong)

BOSTON -- Before she entered the Daughters of St. Paul convent in 2010, Sister Theresa Aletheia Noble read a biography of the order's founder, an Italian priest who was born in the 1880s. He kept a ceramic skull on his desk as a reminder of the inevitability of death. Aletheia, a punk fan as a teenager, thought the morbid curio was "super punk rock," she recalled recently. She thought vaguely about acquiring a skull for herself someday.

These days, Aletheia has no shortage of skulls. People send her skull mugs and skull rosaries in the mail and share photos of their skull tattoos. A ceramic skull from a Halloween store sits on her desk. Her Twitter name includes a skull-and-crossbones emoji.

That is because since 2017, she has made it her mission to revive the practice of memento mori, a Latin phrase meaning "Remember your death." The concept is to intentionally think about your own death every day as a means of appreciating the present and focusing on the future. It can seem radical in an era in which death -- until very recently -- has become easy to ignore.

"My life is going to end, and I have a limited amount of time," Aletheia said. "We naturally tend to think of our lives as kind of continuing and continuing."

REJECTS MORBIDITY

Aletheia rejects any suggestion that the practice is morbid. Suffering and death are facts of life; focusing only on the "bright and shiny" is superficial and inauthentic. "We try to suppress the thought of death, or escape it, or run away from it because we think that's where we'll find happiness," she said. "But it's actually in facing the darkest realities of life that we find light in them."

The practice of regular meditation on death is a venerable one. St. Benedict instructed his monks in the sixth century to "keep death daily before your eyes," for example. For Christians like Aletheia, it is inextricable from the promise of a better life after death. But the practice is not uniquely Christian. Mindfulness of death is a tradition within Buddhism, and Socrates and Seneca were among the early thinkers who recommended "practicing" death as a way to

cultivate meaning and focus. Skeletons, clocks and decaying food are recurring motifs in art history.

For almost all of humanity, people died at younger ages than we do now, more frequently died at home and had less medical control over their final days. Death was far less predictable and far more visible. "To us, death is exotic," said Joanna Ebenstein, founder of Morbid Anatomy, a Brooklyn-based enterprise that offers events and books focused on death, art and culture. "But that's a luxury particular to our time and place."

The pandemic, of course, has made death impossible to forget. Since last spring, Ebenstein has conducted a series of memento mori classes online, in which students explore the global history of representations of death and then create their own. Final projects have included a miniature coffin, a series of letters to be delivered post-mortem and a deck of tarot cards composed of photographs taken by a husband who recently died. "For the first time in my lifetime, this is a topic not just interesting to a bunch of hipsters," Ebenstein said. "Death is actually relevant."

'MODERN AND EFFICACIOUS'

The Daughters of St. Paul, Aletheia's order, was founded in the early 20th century to use "the most modern and efficacious means of media" to preach the Christian message. A century ago, that meant publishing books, which the group still does. But now "modern and efficacious" means something more, and many of the women are active on social media, where they use variations on the hashtag #MediaNuns. In December, Aletheia appeared in a TikTok video created by the order, which posed cheeky Catholic matchups like evening prayer vs. morning prayer and St. Peter vs. St. Paul. The video, set to Run-DMC's "It's Tricky," was viewed more than 4.4 million times.

As a teenager in Tulsa, Aletheia, who is now 40, listened to the Dead Kennedys and attended local punk shows with her friends. Her parents were committed Catholics; her father has a doctorate in theology and worked for a local Catholic diocese for a while. But she was a skeptical child and declared herself an atheist as a teenager, rather than go through the formal process of joining the church.

At Bryn Mawr College, she was the leader of an animal welfare club. But she blanched at the animal welfare movement's arguments against "speciesism." It seemed to her that there was a real, if difficult to define, difference between humans and other animals. But "as a materialist atheist, I really couldn't find a reason for that," she recalled. "I had this intuitive sense that the soul existed."

DRAMATIC CONVERSION

While working on an organic farm in Costa Rica after a stint with Teach for America, she had a sudden and dramatic conversion experience: God was real, and she had to figure out his plan for her life. When her longtime boyfriend picked her up from the airport after the trip, she broke up with him and canceled her plans to go to law school. Within four years, she was wearing a habit at the convent, an unassuming blond-brick building that includes a publishing house, gardens and a small free-standing burial chapel where the nuns are entombed after they die.

Aletheia began her memento mori project on Twitter, where she shared daily meditations for more than 500 days in a row. In October 2018, on her 455th day with the skull on her desk, she wrote, "Everyone dies, their bodies rot, and every face becomes a skull (unless you are incorrupt)."

At first, she had no particular goal beyond keeping herself committed to her own daily practice. But the tweets were a hit, and the project expanded. Now the order sells vinyl decals ($4.95, "great Christmas gifts!") and hooded sweatshirts emblazoned with a skull icon designed by Sister Danielle Victoria Lussier, another Daughter of St. Paul. Aletheia continues to promote the practice on social media, and she has published a memento mori prayer journal and a devotional that opens with the sentence, "You are going to die."

The books have become some of the order's bestsellers in recent years -- a boost to the nuns, whose income as a nonprofit publisher has declined sharply in recent decades. Aletheia is currently working on a new prayer book for the Advent season, leading up to Christmas.

Sister Theresa Aletheia Noble holds a rosary with skull beads at Daughters of St. Paul convent in Boston. Since 2017, Sister Aletheia has made it her mission to revive the practice of memento mori, a Latin phrase meaning “Remember your death,” which encourages intentional thought about one’s death every day as a means of appreciating the present and focusing on the future.
(The New York Times/Tony Luong)
Sister Theresa Aletheia Noble holds a rosary with skull beads at Daughters of St. Paul convent in Boston. Since 2017, Sister Aletheia has made it her mission to revive the practice of memento mori, a Latin phrase meaning “Remember your death,” which encourages intentional thought about one’s death every day as a means of appreciating the present and focusing on the future. (The New York Times/Tony Luong)
Items that Sister Theresa Aletheia Noble has collected that incorporate skull imagery, at Daughters of St. Paul convent in Boston, May 12, 2021. Since 2017, Sister Aletheia has made it her mission to revive the practice of memento mori, a Latin phrase meaning “Remember your death,” which encourages intentional thought about one’s death every day as a means of appreciating the present and focusing on the future. (Tony Luong/The New York Times)
Items that Sister Theresa Aletheia Noble has collected that incorporate skull imagery, at Daughters of St. Paul convent in Boston, May 12, 2021. Since 2017, Sister Aletheia has made it her mission to revive the practice of memento mori, a Latin phrase meaning “Remember your death,” which encourages intentional thought about one’s death every day as a means of appreciating the present and focusing on the future. (Tony Luong/The New York Times)
Sister Theresa Aletheia Noble on the grounds at Daughters of St. Paul convent in Boston, May 12, 2021. Since 2017, Sister Aletheia has made it her mission to revive the practice of memento mori, a Latin phrase meaning “Remember your death,” which encourages intentional thought about one’s death every day as a means of appreciating the present and focusing on the future. (Tony Luong/The New York Times)
Sister Theresa Aletheia Noble on the grounds at Daughters of St. Paul convent in Boston, May 12, 2021. Since 2017, Sister Aletheia has made it her mission to revive the practice of memento mori, a Latin phrase meaning “Remember your death,” which encourages intentional thought about one’s death every day as a means of appreciating the present and focusing on the future. (Tony Luong/The New York Times)
Sister Theresa Aletheia Noble holds a small sculpture of a skull at Daughters of St. Paul convent in Boston, May 12, 2021. Since 2017, Sister Aletheia has made it her mission to revive the practice of memento mori, a Latin phrase meaning “Remember your death,” which encourages intentional thought about one’s death every day as a means of appreciating the present and focusing on the future. (Tony Luong/The New York Times)
Sister Theresa Aletheia Noble holds a small sculpture of a skull at Daughters of St. Paul convent in Boston, May 12, 2021. Since 2017, Sister Aletheia has made it her mission to revive the practice of memento mori, a Latin phrase meaning “Remember your death,” which encourages intentional thought about one’s death every day as a means of appreciating the present and focusing on the future. (Tony Luong/The New York Times)
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