Jeanetta and I have each had our covid-19 boosters. At this stage of life, I realize how foolhardy it would be to risk winding up on a live-or-die ventilator with only virus-weary nurses to keep me and others company.
I'm not a believer in government mandates to inject controversial vaccines into our bodies rather than embracing freedom of choice.
There's only my strong recommendation to those reading today to follow our lead, realizing that the following letter from Casey Patrick of Jasper probably never would have been written had the vaccine been available just a few weeks before her mother Mary unexpectedly succumbed. She likely would still be with Casey, her father, Ron, and the rest of us.
I've mentioned Mary's death from covid in a previous column, but never with the passion of her daughter as Casey marked the first year of her mother's passing by remembering details of that terrible day.
"As I look back on this day," she writes, "I realize that I wasn't able to actually update everything they told us. I think I just couldn't believe it. Part of me needs to get it out in order to heal.
"When I posted this update at 2:30 p.m., we didn't really know what the next few hours would bring. I got a call from my dad at around 4 that afternoon screaming that she was gone. I couldn't even understand what was happening.
"I told him to let me call the doctor and see what I could find out. During the entire process, from hospitalization to the ICU, I was the only point of contact for the doctors and nurses. I called the ICU and was able to speak to Dr. Tovey. As soon as he answered he said, 'I'm so sorry, I called your dad first; as soon as I dialed the number, the nurses were screaming and waving their arms to call the daughter first, but it was too late.'
"He told me that day that my little momma had been on the ventilator the allotted amount of days and that she needed to have the tracheotomy procedure. He told me that the MRI that they did the day before did show brain activity; however, he wasn't sure that her little body would be strong enough to survive the procedure. I asked him how many of those procedures he had performed on covid patients, and what their quality of life was now.
"He told me he done two who survived, and they were now in long-term-care facilities and had not been previously. As soon as he told me, I told him that we would never put her through that. We made the plan that day that on the 15th at 10 a.m., we would be up there with her when she went to heaven. This is how crazy covid is, you had to schedule a time so that you could be on the list to be allowed to be in the hospital. Warren drove my dad and I to the hospital, and I will never forget pulling up to the house and Dad wearing my momma's favorite outfit. He looked so handsome and I know she would love it.
"The drive over was silent. Walking into that hospital is something I will never forget. The chaplain met us in the lobby and was trying to make small talk, and I don't think Dad or I said a word. They took us into a tiny room where we were given all the PPE: two gowns, two masks, two shoe coverings, and two pairs of gloves for each of us. Then we had to sanitize before we could even enter the room.
"I went in first and was able to hold her hand (only through a glove) and tell her how much she meant to me. To this day I still believe her eyebrows moved when I talked to her. Then they had to come in and remove the first layer of my PPE before Dad could go in. He was in with her for a long time, and the chaplain kept asking me about mom. Things about what we liked to do together and what I loved about her. To be honest, the only thing that came to mind was eating. I'm sure that chaplain thought I was crazy.
"My mind just couldn't comprehend what was happening.
"Then when Dad came out, they brought in the respiratory therapist to remove the ventilator. When she came out of the room, she was crying and she hugged me and said, 'I really thought this one was going to make it.' We went back in with her for those final moments, and it's something I will never forget.
"As we left the room, after only a few minutes, the nurse pulled me aside. She was the one with whom I had developed a relationship. She told me Mom had actually crashed that morning, but it was almost like she was waiting on us to get there to say goodbye. I knew then we did the right thing for her by letting her go.
"I loved my momma something fierce. We had a relationship unlike any other, and my life has never been the same. She knew the heaven that was waiting, and I know she was welcomed with open arms. I wish I could go back to the person I was, but I will never be the same.
"I know some people will look down on me for posting the details, but I also hope that maybe people who have been so vocal about the covid 'hoax' may soften and understand a little bit of the hell that these families have been through.
"My momma was my whole world, and she still is a part of all of my days. I miss her so much ... Mary Kathryn Patrick 7/3/1952 - 10/15/2020."
The decision remains all yours, valued readers. whether mandated by President Joe Biden or not. I just wouldn't want any among you to have to one day write such agonizingly and deeply honest sad memories.
Mike Masterson is a longtime Arkansas journalist, was editor of three Arkansas dailies and headed the master's journalism program at Ohio State University. Email him at mmasterson@arkansasonline.com.