OPINION | DEAR ABBY: Teen discovers mom’s affair while looking at her phone

Dear Abby: I am 15 and my mom and my dad have been married a long time. I was looking through pictures on Mom’s phone and found some very inappropriate and romantic texts from “Rob,” her business partner. Mom forces our family to hang out with Rob, and my brother doesn’t like him. Anytime we bring it up, Mom yells at us and makes me cry. She wants me to be friends with Rob.

Once, when we were all at a restaurant, someone asked if he was my dad. I know what she’s doing with him, and I can’t focus on school because of it. I think my dad knows, but I’m sure he hasn’t seen the texts. I don’t want to ruin my family. I cry every night. I know my parents won’t get counseling, and I worry for my brother. — Kid Who Knows The Truth

Dear Kid: Because this is causing emotional problems that are affecting your studies, it can’t be ignored. It’s time for you to talk with a school counselor, a relative or a family friend for emotional support and guidance.

I also think at some point you should talk to your mother about what you found on her phone. Tell her that’s the reason you don’t want to be friends with her business partner. Your sense of right and wrong is valid, and don’t let her tell you otherwise. Don’t be surprised if she’s upset that you know about the texts, so be prepared for it. I am sorry you have to go through this. It’s a shame.

Dear Abby: A few years ago, my husband and I bought an old, house in an ideal neighborhood, which has beautiful yards, nice people and a lot of diversity. We had a vision for this place, and it was perfect for us.

My friend “Maggie,” who has a judgmental streak, repeatedly asked to come see the house, which I knew wasn’t ready for visitors. After her 10th request, I told myself I was overreacting, and invited her over. Three years later, my husband and I remodeled our home to fit our vision. We are happy.

Six months later, we were at a friend’s house with Maggie and her husband, and he said we had moved into a “s—- shack.” My husband’s jaw dropped. Maggie said, “I didn’t call it that!” Of course it was logical that she did. She had seen it; he had not.

To this day, over a year later, I still can’t get over why she would say something so horrible about my home or why her husband would repeat it among friends. My husband refuses to engage with either of them. — Proud Of My Home Now

Dear Proud: I am sorry you didn’t write sooner about this. If you had, I would have advised you to tell Maggie exactly how that incident made you and your husband feel. It is a little late for that now, but you can still clear the air if you wish. What they said was uncalled for.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother,Pauline Phillips.Contact Dear Abby at P.O.Box 69440,Los Angeles,CA 90069 or visit

www.DearAbby.com

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