Dear Abby: I’m in a seven-year relationship with a beautiful woman I love and would do anything for. I feel she would do the same for me. She has a dog, “Preston,” who she loves and who has been with her since puppy-hood. At 16, Preston is failing badly and is on his last legs. His time is definitely coming.
We had planned on meeting my son and grandchildren for a family celebration after a seven-hour drive. Her plan was to accompany me, but now, because of Preston’s condition, she has changed her mind, and she’s now angry that I am going alone.
I spend every day with her and go out of my way to always support her. She has no grandkids, having lost her only daughter two decades ago. I will be gone for only a weekend and return in time to be with her afterward.
I haven’t seen my three granddaughters in a year, and who knows when I will again. I’m stuck in the middle here, and am going to upset either her or my son’s family. — Man In The Middle
Dear Man: If your significant other’s only child died 20 years ago, it is possible the puppy became like a child to her, and losing him is causing her to revisit her daughter’s death. Try to postpone the visit with your son and his family until after Preston’s passing, or have them come to you. If that’s not possible, since it’s only a weekend, go see your son and your grandkids but stay in contact with her during the visit.
Dear Abby: My first husband was abusive, and I divorced him after less than four years of marriage. We had two daughters. In 2016, I married a loving man and my oldest daughter was my maid of honor. A year later, she married her soul mate. Her father and I, and our spouses, paid for the reception.
Since 2017, this daughter has continually asked us for financial help. At first we helped, but after a terrible argument, we drew the line, and she severed the relationship. She sees us occasionally during holidays and is cordial, but she doesn’t call or text for my birthday or Mother’s Day, which is hurtful.
I don’t know where to turn, except to pray. I don’t want to be estranged. I miss her, but don’t want to be financially taken advantage of. —
Heartbroken In Delaware
Dear Heartbroken:
Would you like to receive birthday and Mother’s Day greetings knowing they didn’t come from the heart and that you were paying for them? This is what your daughter’s actions reveal. You didn’t cause the estrangement; she did, because you shut off the spigot.
I’m sure you are hurting, because that is what your daughter intends. Since prayer hasn’t helped you, consult a mental health professional, and I suspect you will have better results.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother,Pauline Phillips.Contact Dear Abby at P.O.Box 69440,Los Angeles,CA 90069 or visit
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