Dear Abby: I am a senior in high school in a long-distance relationship. My boyfriend, “Grant,” and I live two states apart and have visited each other several times. He’s four years older than I am. We met three years ago, when Grant was 19 and I was 15, and became friends online. However, he had a girlfriend and we were just friends. I developed feelings, but he did not reciprocate because I was underage. Later, after he and his girlfriend broke up, we became a couple. That was 10 months ago.
Grant asked me to move in with him next year, and I have decided to do so. His college tuition and housing are paid for, and he wants to help in paying mine while we pursue an in-person relationship. Some of my relatives know about my decision, but the two family members I live with do not. They are old-fashioned in their beliefs and do not respect my relationship. I don’t know how to tell them about my decision to move 900 miles away to a state where neither Grant nor I know anyone. Advice? — Big Plans In Indiana
Dear Big Plans: I’m glad you are seeking advice because I have reservations about your plans. If you move in with Grant, you will be denying him and yourself an important aspect of the college experience. This is a chance for you both to complete your education, as well as define yourselves as individuals. You will meet new people and develop interests apart from the other, which is both challenging and healthy. Do not deny yourself or Grant this important experience.
Dear Abby: Our family is worried about my brother. Ever since he met and married his wife, he has changed. There was a “surprise” baby. Access to the baby is limited — even my parents, who visit once a year, must schedule an appointment days in advance. My brother now rarely leaves the house. He has begun questioning my parents about their will. He is asking to be bought out of the family business, which he has stated numerous times that he absolutely loves being a part of.
I know you typically say to offer support if asked, but some of his decisions will have negative impacts on the whole family. Is there anything we can do? — Concerned Big Brother In Washington
Dear Big Brother: Your brother’s wife appears to be very controlling. Is he all right? I ask because you wrote that he has always loved the family business. Because his request to be bought out will affect everyone, all of the principals should meet with your attorney as well as your financial adviser to discuss what that will mean for all of you. If this is being caused by your brother’s wife, do not allow her to isolate him. Assure him that you will always be there for him.
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