I rarely write a column these days. Too many other demands on my time have come with technology, like podcasts, social media, reader engagements, newsletters -- well, you get the idea! But there are a couple of times a year I really want to take a minute or two to just chat with all of y'all, the reason I do what I do.
This holiday season and the arrival of another uncertain new year have been particularly fraught with so many emotions -- wanting everything to be perfect, knowing it won't be, hoping next year will be one of health and safety, not fear and pandemic. Add to that an almost complete turnover of the Features staff -- people I consider family -- and I've been a basket case for several weeks now.
During those middle-of-the-night, can't-sleep, let's-worry-about-everything hours, two things keep me sane: cross stitching and old friends -- in this case, the ones found in books, which were my first companions as an only child. Among the names that pop up regularly is Robert Heinlein, the father of science fiction, whose approach to life has colored so many of my attitudes about so many things.
For many years, I have turned to Heinlein for my new year's "resolutions." Longtime readers of this newspaper should know these words by heart, because I've reprinted them here many times over many years and through many incarnations. Heinlein almost certainly didn't consider excerpts from the notebooks of his most famous character, Lazarus Long, "resolutions." He denied they were wisdom, for that matter. But what he wrote in "Time Enough for Love" (1973) is better than anything I could ever think up myself.
So, with hat tipped to the late Mr. Heinlein, who is, I hope, bellied up to a bar somewhere in Boondock with Gene Roddenberry, I give you these borrowed words to live by as a challenging year rolls into one we can only hope is so much better!
Certainly the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you; if you don't bet, you can't win.
Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done, and why. Then do it.
Delusions are often functional. A mother's opinions about her children's beauty, intelligence, goodness, etc., ad nauseam, keep her from drowning them at birth.
A generation which ignores history has no past -- and no future.
If you don't like yourself, you can't like other people.
Avoid making irrevocable decisions while tired or hungry. (Circumstances can force your hand. So think ahead!)
A woman is not property, and husbands who think otherwise are living in a dreamworld.
A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.
The more you love, the more you can love -- and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love.
The shamans are forever yakking about their snake-oil "miracles." I prefer the real McCoy -- a pregnant woman.
A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.
You live and learn. Or you don't live long.
The phrase "we (I) (you) simply must --" designates something that need not be done. "That goes without saying" is a red warning. "Of course" means you had best check it yourself. These small-change cliches and others like them, when read correctly, are reliable channel markers.
Always tell her she is beautiful, especially if she is not.
Sovereign ingredient for a happy marriage: Pay cash or do without. Interest charges not only eat up a household budget, awareness of debt eats up domestic felicity.
Another ingredient for a happy marriage: Budget the luxuries first!
And still another: See to it that she has her own desk -- then keep your hands off it!
And another: In a family argument, if it turns out you are right -- apologize at once!
Keep your children short on pocket money -- but long on hugs.
A committee is a life form with six or more legs and no brain.
Sin lies only in hurting other people unnecessarily. All other 'sins' are invented nonsense. (Hurting yourself is not sinful -- just stupid.)
Amen, brother! And Happy New Year!
Becca Martin-Brown is an award-winning columnist and Features editor for the Northwest Arkansas Democrat-Gazette. She can be reached at bmartin@nwadg.com or on Twitter @nwabecca.