Dear Abby: I need some advice regarding my mother-in-law. She has hated me since the first time she met me because I’m not from the country but from “the city.”
She makes up lies about me. She claims I have STDs, spend all her son’s money, etc. She lives 46 miles away and has never visited her son. I take him to visit her. Our child and I aren’t allowed in her home. We have to sit in the car. She acts like our child doesn’t exist, but she has pictures of her other two grandchildren on Facebook and drives to see them almost weekly. My husband sees nothing wrong with her behavior and says he “won’t take sides.” I don’t know what to do. — Peeved In Pennsylvania
Dear Peeved: Please accept my sympathy for your situation. While your husband refuses to recognize there is anything wrong with his mother’s behavior, it is off the charts. I hope you realize that most men stand up for their wives and children when they are mistreated.
Because you can’t change your husband or his witch of a mother, and you made no mention of leaving, you will simply have to adjust to it. Start by planning an activity for you and your child while your husband is visiting his mom, rather than sitting in the car. Even better, arrange “other” transportation for your husband.
Dear Abby: I’m a 24-year-old woman who has been in a relationship with a man for seven years. “Ken” is 27 years older than I am. (I pursued him.) I love him, but I have always been slightly confused about my relationship with him, and he knows this. Lately, I have been feeling very guilty. My heart knows that my love for Ken isn’t enough for what he truly deserves.
He’s a good, honest man, and we get along great, have a lot in common and make a great team. I am comfortable with us and our life. I have realized that I want to be on my own, and not in a relationship. I feel a strong desire to focus on me and only me, so I can grow into the person I envision myself being. Any advice besides the obvious — my leaving the relationship? — Wanting More In Wisconsin
Dear Wanting: You became involved with Ken while you were still very young. It appears you never gave yourself time to fully develop as an individual.
Many women would be glad to live their life in a relationship that has all the positive qualities that yours has with Ken. I am sure you both will discover this when you move on. However, since you asked my advice, talk this through with a licensed relationship counselor before making any final decision.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles,CA 90069 or visit