Just heard about that tribunal in the U.K.'s ruling that calling a man bald is "sexual harassment."
According to a May 13 story by David Moye on the "weird news" division of Huffpost.com, the ruling came about as the result of a complaint by a guy named Tony Finn. Finn had been an electrician for the British Bung Manufacturing Co., makers of wooden cask closures for the brewing industry, in Yorkshire. The nearly 24-year company veteran was given the boot last year.
The story didn't mention why he was canned, but Moye recounts an argument on the job in 2019, during which Finn's shift supervisor hauled off and called him a "bald [expletive deleted]."
Moye goes on to quote the tribunal's reasoning for its finding:
"We have little doubt that being referred to in this pejorative manner was unwanted conduct as far as [Finn] was concerned. ... Although, as we find, industrial language was commonplace on this West Yorkshire factory floor, in our judgment Mr. King crossed the line by making remarks personal to the claimant about his appearance."
Moye writes that "the panel noted that Finn had not complained about the use of a four-letter word, but was offended by being called bald." Not too much of a surprise there. When it comes to name calling, the insulting adjective that precedes the noun can often be much more of a "fightin' word" than the insulting noun.
The tribunal also chose not to concentrate on the noun that "bald" was used to describe. Judging from its first and last letters, given with asterisks in the middle, it's a word that's used to insult women in particular here; in the U.K., it's used as a personal insult to both sexes — deeming someone "unpleasant or stupid," according to one website. So, across the pond, it's a worse insult to be called bald than stupid.
But the tribunal did appear to take into consideration the entire name-calling phrase when it added that "it is difficult to conclude other than that Mr. King uttered those words with the purpose of violating [Finn's] dignity and creating an intimidating, hostile, degrading, humiliating or offensive environment for him."
Apparently, Finn's supervisor's insult cut not only deep but wide. Moye was quick to point out that members of the tribunal "alluded to their own experiences with hair loss" and went so far as to indicate that calling a man bald was tantamount to commenting on the size of a woman's bust. "The panel said that while the company's lawyer correctly noted that women can also go bald, it noted, 'as all three members of the tribunal will vouchsafe, baldness is much more prevalent in men than women' and 'we find it to be inherently related to sex.'"
This is certainly a victory for hair-losing male victims of bullying in the U.K. (Hmm ... a possible unofficial reason those old-school wigs are worn in courtrooms there?) For any American "tribunals" considering what might be considered harassment, here are some rulings I'd like to see:
◼️ First of all, a ruling that it's harassment to call women bald, too. There may be more men going bald, but then that makes it even more of a stigma when a woman loses her hair. Ill-fitting women's hairpieces and "oh-screw-it" turbans can be more an object of ridicule than toupees and comb-overs ... and purveyors of hair-replacement products, systems, clubs and other programs charge men and women alike — all through the nose.
◼️ Calling anyone of any persuasion "fat" should be ruled harassment, especially during these days of body positivity in general; Lizzo the singer in particular; kinder, more gentle adjectives such as "fluffy"; and the knowledge that there are things other than overeating and laziness that can contribute to size concerns.
◼️ Finn lost the age-discrimination claim he'd also made, but calling anyone of any persuasion "old" should also be ruled harassment. Whether followed by "geezer," "goat," "coot" "bat" or "fool," being called "old" is surely an insult to the dignity of those who are maybe of an age where hoochie daddy shorts, crop tops, saggin' pants and stilettos would not be the wisest wardrobe decisions. (By the way, goats, bats and fools can be young, too.)
◼️ And don't get me started on how calling someone short, or some variation of it, should be ruled harassment. (Although there's a wonderful variety of online lists of snappy comebacks those of such stature could use.)
◼️ The same rulings should go for such adjectives as "wrinkled," "doddering" or "curmudgeonly," especially when combined with "old" and followed by insulting nouns.
It would be nice if these rulings could apply not just to such harassing words in workplaces but also at playgrounds, beer joints and family reunions. Alas, with all the other problems we've got going on in the world, giving all harassers/insulters their comeuppances would be nearly impossible.
So, I guess that leaves the snappy comeback to be hurled at such presumably hirsute [fill-in-the-noun]s as Finn's ex-supervisor.
Or we could all, as the Glen Campbell song says, try a little kindness.
And try a little email: hwilliams@adgnewsroom.com