Dear Abby: My father died five years ago at 90. For the last 20 years of his life, both my sisters shunned him because they disliked his second wife (who predeceased him). She was never anything but kind to us. They refused to speak to him and, when he was dying, said that they wouldn’t attend his funeral.
When an aunt informed them that Dad had left over a million dollars and no will, they couldn’t get here fast enough. They accused me of trying to steal from them. I’ve never taken anything from my sisters. I made sure the money was equally distributed, then shut them out of my life.
“Family,” is synonymous with love and trust. Without it, we’re just relations. I plan to never speak to them again. — Disgusted In Denver
Dear Disgusted: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your father. With family like your sisters, you don’t need enemies. In this case, it’s common sense to protect yourself. Keeping your distance will accomplish it.
Dear Abby: Will you mention the problem of adult workplace bullying? The bullies are usually buddy-buddy with supervisors and get away with harassment, which includes name-calling, ridiculing and gossiping, which makes for a uncomfortable work environment. It happens too often. — Once Bullied
Dear Bullied: Sadly, you are right. It does happen too often. A way to stop it is first to tell the bully that you don’t like it. Then start documenting incidents, including dates, times and what was done. Take that information to your boss or supervisor and ask them to put a stop to it. If that doesn’t help, take your concerns to H.R. If H.R. doesn’t stop what’s going on, take the problem and your evidence to the EEOC. What you have described is a hostile work environment, which might be the basis of legal action.
Dear Abby: I recently hosted a bridal shower for my daughter’s soon-to-be sister-in-law. It was lovely with delicious food and sweet decor. Everyone enjoyed themselves. After it was over, my daughter chided me for not giving a gift. I was dumbfounded, hurt and angry. The cost of the shower, not including time and labor, was well over what I would have spent on a gift.
My daughter is angry because I told her she was being ridiculous. Should I apologize and buy a gift? I’ve hosted showers before and thought of the party as a gift. — Annoyed In Albuquerque
Dear Annoyed: According to “The Everything Wedding Shower Book,” by Jennifer Jenkins, “It is customary for the hostess to get the bride a gift for the shower, just like everyone else.” I’m not sure I agree with Jennifer. After expending the time, effort and expense of planning the shower, I don’t think an additional gift was necessary.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother,Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at P.O. Box 69440,Los Angeles,CA 90069 or visit
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