"You can only understand people if you feel them in yourself."--John Steinbeck
I watched a man in Fayetteville pumping gas one row over from me. He was close to filling the tank on his newer-model sedan when an older Black man approached. I overheard him ask the driver as he was replacing the nozzle if he could spare enough for a burger because he hadn't eaten since yesterday.
The driver, who was white, said he didn't have any cash, climbed back behind the wheel and drove away as the rejected man slowly walked back to a nearby bench where he'd previously been sitting.
A few more minutes and my tank was full. I was backing out to leave when I witnessed a remarkable act of kindness.
The fellow who'd left without so much as a departing look had returned. He slowly pulled alongside the bench where the hungry man sat with his head down. He lowered the passenger's side window and handed the surprised beggar a sack full of food he'd purchased from the drive-through burger place only 100 yards away.
"Thank you so much, sir," the grateful man responded. "I can sure use this!"
Hardly front page news today. Yet there's nothing more relevant to our lives today than such unexpected acts of kindness between strangers from vastly different worlds as I'd just witnessed.
Imagine what had to have transpired in the heart and mind of the man who returned. He had left to face his own challenges of the day, yet something inside made him stop and get food for a hungry stranger he knew he'd never see again.
Centered in compassion, his act was an indication of what sharing our brief lives alongside each other could, and should, be in a civilized society that supposedly values empathy and kindness.
That occurrence at a Harp's Store three years ago provides a springboard into my point today about the effects and benefits of kindness in all our lives.
I can't imagine if we reach the point where kindness evaporated from our lives to leave us concerned only with ourselves. And yet to me, sadly enough, it feels as if that's where we have been headed for some time. Self-absorption runs rampant.
Kindness, a key moral virtue, is a form of spiritual adhesive that joins us with others while making us feel our being here together matters.
In giving rather than taking, we realize the importance to ourselves of being willing to recognize the inherent worth in others.
There has been a lot written over the ages about this human quality. I read the other day that simply being kind toward others can improve our lives in several specific ways.
It generally makes us happier people whenever we treat others kindly. Being kind generates emotional warmth and naturally benefits the human heart. It slows the aging process and improves relationships, and the kindness we demonstrate toward others is contagious.
We've seen it on crowded roadways when, after waiting in a long line hoping to ease into the flow and we're about to give up, a kindly driver motions us in ahead of them.
All of a sudden our frustration and anger surrender to thankfulness for their kindness. And it's likely the next time we find ourselves in a position to return the favor toward another, we will.
It's the same thing if someone with a basketful of groceries in the checkout line out motions me with my three items ahead of them. At the next opportunity, I'll do the same.
In the smash Broadway phenomenon "Les Miserables," a single kindly act by the bishop toward escaped prisoner Jean Valjean changes his bitter life into one devoted to public service and helping others.
Kindness also is a proven way to connect us with others and make new friends and acquaintances.
Those who receive kindness feel significant, while being a bestower enables us to contribute positively to something outside ourselves. In either case, kindness confirms our existence and relationship with another in a positive way.
Each act of kindness you and I commit quietly changes the way we see ourselves and others, as well as how others view us. As our kindness positively affects others, we tend to also feel more compassionate, confident and useful, as well as more appreciative and optimistic overall.
Aesop aptly wrote: "No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted." Albert Schweitzer wrote: "Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate."
"A single act of kindness," said theologian Frederick William Faber, "throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees."
The Random Acts of Kindness Foundation's website attributes several quotes to "RAKtivist" (Random Acts of Kindness Activist): "Kindness is giving hope to those who think they are all alone in this world." "Kindness is seeing the best in others when they cannot see it in themselves." "Kindness is something anyone can give without losing anything themselves." "Kindness is not what you do, but who you are."
Voices editor Brenda Looper, at my request, has been pulling some of my timeless columns published since 2001 during my painfully slow recovery from radiation and chemotherapy. It so happened last Tuesday that she chose one from 2013 about the benefit of paying it forward through thoughtful acts, which I'd call somewhat of a brother to today's offering.
Reader Jerry Jones responded to the pay-it-forward column with a relevant story that fits with today's point.
"Read your column today, which was super, and wanted to share an experience I had," he wrote. "The other day while shopping at Walmart, a lady was checking out and clearly having problems with her credit card. She was a lady who you could tell had means, but her card wouldn't clear. It was not her fault.
"After several attempts, I pulled out my card to pay for her groceries and said to her, 'see if my card will work.' Astonished, was she. Just before I put my card in, a Walmart employee said she could get her card to work, and she did.
"Still, the lady looked at me, astonished that a stranger would step up to pay her grocery bill. It's not that I did anything great, but the look on her face told a thousand stories.
"In my opinion, it gives people hope there are more good people in the world than bad. Now, to quote you: 'Go out into the world and treat people how you want to be treated.'"
As with Jerry, I say why don't we all agree in the brief time we have remaining on this Earth to commit to trying our best to be kinder toward others whether they be friends, family members or complete strangers?
It's really not that difficult, and we all will be much better for it as good and decent human beings. The way I see it, most of the time all that's required is a kind and sincere compliment or simple act that, at its heart, reassures others of their own worth.
Now go out into the world and treat everyone you meet exactly like you want them to treat you.
Mike Masterson is a longtime Arkansas journalist, was editor of three Arkansas dailies and headed the master's journalism program at Ohio State University. Email him at mmasterson@arkansasonline.com.