RIGHT TIME RIGHT PLACE: Their long walks and long talks ended in marriage

Tanya and Terrance James enjoy spending time together. Tanya’s father officiated their wedding ceremony, and Terrance took a vow to love, cherish and spoil Tanya. He says he has taken that part of his commitment as seriously as all the others. “I just want to make sure this is my priority,” he says.
(Special to the Democrat-Gazette)
Tanya and Terrance James enjoy spending time together. Tanya’s father officiated their wedding ceremony, and Terrance took a vow to love, cherish and spoil Tanya. He says he has taken that part of his commitment as seriously as all the others. “I just want to make sure this is my priority,” he says. (Special to the Democrat-Gazette)


Tanya Carter thought Terrance James was friendly when they first met. She thought he was maybe a little too friendly.

They were both students at Henderson State University in 1997.

"I was the social butterfly," Tanya says. "Usually on Thursdays you could catch me making something in the kitchen. I wasn't the best cook, but there was something I was gonna cook and just tell people to come over."

Terrance was an occasional part of those informal gatherings.

"It didn't matter who, just come over and let's be social and hang out," she says. "I made a few phone calls and if you got the word, you got the word. And if you didn't, you just didn't. He was probably second or third word."

Tanya doesn't remember giving Terrance her number but says she probably did. Sometimes, after that, they would pass each other on campus and exchange a few words, and then Terrance would call her later for a longer conversation.

"He was very persistent and very intentional and he would call just to say, 'How are you doing today?'" Tanya says. "And I would go, 'OK. I'm fine. I'm OK.' But I would think, 'You know, you just saw me and asked me that. Why are you calling me to ask this again?'"

Terrance wanted to make sure Tanya knew he was thinking of her. He was not satisfied with small talk, and genuinely was interested in learning more about her.

"I would just call to check on her," he says. "Maybe I should have spaced those calls out a little more, I guess. I would see her on campus maybe an hour preceding those phone calls and maybe that made her wonder why I was calling."

At some point, Tanya got wind of Terrance's grand plan.

"I would have random people walk up to me and say, 'You know, Terrance says he's going to marry you,' and I would go, 'What? Who is this guy who says he's going to marry me? What are you talking about?'" she says.

They were friends, sure. But their association was casual at best.

"I don't know that I was thinking about marriage in that moment in time," Tanya says.

Terrance says he probably did make that statement to his roommate, who was happy to spread the word widely until it made its way back to Tanya. He knew even then that she was special and that she was someone he cared about.

Tanya realized, as time went on, that Terrance was a nice guy who genuinely wanted to know how she was doing and was hoping for more than a perfunctory, "OK," when he asked.

"I think I was kind of shocked because that was not something I had experienced before that," she says. "That may have been when I opened up a little bit."

Terrance played football and was committed to an exercise regimen. He and Tanya started meeting at the track for long walks, accompanied by long talks.

Their first date was in the spring of 2001. They were going to the restaurant at Lake DeGray.

"It was pouring down rain that night and I wanted to cancel, but I couldn't because I was like, 'This was our first date,'" she says. "We kept our commitment to each other."

Rain on their first date turned out to be as lucky as the old lore deems it to be on a wedding day.

"We were getting to know each other, and I think my wall had come down," Tanya says. "I liked him all along. I'll be honest. But we did take time to get to know each other and I think that really has helped with our foundation, with where we are today in our relationship. We have always been friends, no matter what."

On June 8, 2002, Tanya's birthday, Terrance took her to Ashley's at the Capital Hotel in Little Rock.

He proposed before they went into the restaurant.

"Ashley's was kind of our celebration," he says.

They were married on Sept. 18, 2004, in First Baptist Church Highland Park. Tanya's father and Terrance's uncle officiated the wedding.

"My dad walked me down the aisle, and Terrance's uncle started the wedding, and then he pretty much married us," Tanya says. "I remember, in the vows, my dad saying, ' ... to love, to cherish and to spoil ... .' I thought that was really sweet, that my dad added that in there."

Their reception was at the Junior League of Little Rock building. They were to leave the week after their wedding for a honeymoon in Jamaica, but their trip was delayed until the following December because of a hurricane.

Terrance says he has done his best to spoil Tanya since that day.

"It's another level," he says. "People don't know her but she's really spoiled."

He opens doors for her, lets her choose restaurants, and, on their first date, he even got a to-go order for her roommate. He also makes sure she gets regular spa time and regular manicures and pedicures, and encourages shopping trips.

"He's just such a gentleman," she says. "Terrance just has a really big heart."

If you have an interesting how-we-met story or if you know someone who does, please call (501) 425-7228 or email:

kdishongh@adgnewsroom.com


The first time I saw my future spouse:

She says: “I thought he was a nice guy and very thoughtful.”

He says: “She had on a beautiful white linen dress. It was in our earth science class, I think.”

On our wedding day:

She says: “Terrance cried. I was extremely nervous, but when the doors opened and he looked at me with tears in his eyes … I’ll never forget the love I could see in his face.”

He says: “I knew I was going to take care of this young lady for the rest of her life.”

My advice for a long happy marriage:

She says: “Communicate, and know it’s OK to be vulnerable and share your feelings.”

He says: “Never stop dating, and always cherish those moments. Take everything one day at a time and just know that life is going to have ups and downs, but it’s about being invested in one another and learning and growing together.”

 



  photo  Tanya Carter and Terrance James were married on Sept. 18, 2004. They became friends while they were both students at Henderson State University in 1997, but they didn’t have their first date until 2001. “We were the kind of friends that would sit talking on my little patio or walk around the track together,” she says. “We became friends and we are still friends, always, above all else.” (Special to the Democrat-Gazette/Clay Carson)

 
 


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