Opinion/Let’s Talk

LET’S TALK: The offbeat ‘holidays’ just keep coming

The crazy "holidays" keep on coming. At some point, there will no longer be any day of the year that we won't be observing something.

Which begs the question of why retailers still hang their specials on days like Christmas, Easter, Washington's birthday, Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday or, at the end of this month, Memorial Day?

Why no sales based on No Socks Day or Root Canal Appreciation Day?

Yes, these are two of the "holidays" happening just this month.

May has its "serious" holidays; a peep at "The Month of May 2023: Holidays, Fun Facts, Folklore," an almanac.com offering, reveals these. In addition to Memorial Day on May 29, we have Cinco de Mayo, which was Friday; Mother's Day, which is May 14; Armed Forces Day, which happens May 20 and gives propers to members of all U.S. military branches; and National Maritime Day, which happens May 22 and "recognizes the efforts of the U.S. merchant marine during both war and peace."

Almanac.com and another website, Holidappy.com, reveal quite a few less-than orthodox special May days.

I can hang with School Principals' Day, which happened last Monday; principals, like teachers, are the long-suffering heroes/sheroes of the educational world and deserve some love. I can even appreciate World Tuna Day, which followed Principals' Day and was established in "an effort to stress the importance of a stable and healthy tuna population" -- one threatened by overfishing, according to Timeanddate.com.

But then there's, well, No Socks Day. Which happens Monday.

"No Socks Day is a day when you can finally relax and take them off," explains the author of a Nationaltoday.com piece that may just have the Gold Toe Socks manufacturers gnashing their teeth. Heck, I thought every day was No Socks Day. Young guys don't even wear them with their prom tuxes anymore; prom socks have given way to skinny highwater pants and elaborate shoes (or sneakers). Pantyhose, the cousins of the sock, have nearly gone the way of the dodo bird. I suppose NSD is a viable holiday for bankers, lawyers and those whose love of socks may be worn thin by the constant eating of them by clothing washers and dryers. Speaking of which, Tuesday is Lost Sock Memorial Day.

Other offbeat days to look forward to this month:

Root Canal Appreciation Day takes place Wednesday. National Today reveals that the day is the 2005 brainchild of Chris Kammer -- "one of America's most vocal advocates for the oral-systemic approach to the prevention of disease." The day is designed to raise awareness of the root canal, as it gets a bad rap. "Dental experts provide assurance that it is a safe and successful procedure, even more so than other dental procedures." Ooookaaaay. If you're having problems getting excited about Root Canal Day and imagining Root Canal parades and festivals, you're certainly not alone. (Though it would be nice if your friendly neighborhood dentist opts to offer marked-down root canals and other dental procedures on this day.)

Next Sunday? Get ready to make wings with those arms. That's Dance Like a Chicken Day, a celebration of the Chicken Dance, according to another educational piece at National Today. The day's roots go back to a song originally come up with by a Swiss accordionist in the 1950s; the song (an earlier version) and dance hit America in the '70s. Break out those "beak" and "wing" moves, heck, even dress up like a chicken, the piece urges. How about we just eat some chicken? Is there a national Chicken for Sunday Dinner day?

Slugs Return from Capistrano Day, May 28. Wait, what? I thought it was swallows who returned to Capistrano? Well, we missed that day; it was March 19. Now we got slugs. SRFCD "raises awareness about slugs and their functions in our ecology," explains the writer of an article at Birthdayanswers.com. "Slugs are said to spend the winter at Capistrano," and, in the spring, "return to our patios and gardens" to continue to be the agricultural/horticultural pests they are. Suggested activities for this day: Learn about slugs, which, get this: "don't have normal mouths"; tell somebody about slugs; or -- you guessed it -- "wear a slug costume." Hey, smear yourself with play slime and ask your sweetie for a kiss!

Too bad we missed Mother Goose Day, which was also last Monday; and National Two Different Colored Shoes Day, which was May 3 and would have gone great with No Socks Day and Lost Sock Memorial Day. I can only hope we all missed World Naked Gardening Day, which was Friday and which might have garnered us either an Indecent Exposure charge or made us extra-vulnerable to slug attacks. I hope everyone did know of, and fully enjoyed, International No Diet Day, which was Saturday.

Two more days of note: Be a Millionaire Day, May 20 (Great! Let's just pull a million bucks out of our patoots and kick-start our yachts!) and My Bucket's Got a Hole in It Day, May 30 (or, more apropos for some of us: a My Pocket/Wallet's Got a Hole in It Day).

That's just May, folks. (By the way, we have four scant months to prepare/shop for Talk Like a Pirate Day, which is Sept. 19.) Enjoy the month, which we can only hope has better weather than April, while I celebrate a couple of special-to-me May days:

Today -- Dre's and my 18th wedding anniversary. Our relationship began with a July 6, 2003, email from him -- subject line "I am impressed with your articles!!!" -- and progressed to our tying the knot in an African ceremony on a sunny, August-feeling May 7, 2005, in Monroe, La. Happy anniversary, Honey.

Thursday -- My 42nd anniversary at the company now known as the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette. Yes, I began my work life at the age of 5.

Today's not National Email Day (that was April 23), but hit me anyway: