ROGERS — Alicia has shot up "bathtub meth" so dirty with corrosive acids, it made her limbs ache.
She was introduced to injecting crank, a common name for methamphetamine, five years ago through friends of her boyfriend, who she says was selling crystal methamphetamine in Benton County in large volumes.
Alicia, who spoke only as long as her real name was not used, also sold methamphetamine to support her habit. She shot up until she learned she was pregnant with her daughter, now 4.
At first, Alicia, 25, wasn't sure she was pregnant because methamphetamine had all but stopped her menstrual cycle. She got suspicious one night when she shot up and immediately began throwing up.
"I didn't even know I was pregnant until my second trimester," Alicia remembered. "After I found out, I stopped [using]. I don't know how, but I just did. I kept thinking that my baby didn't choose this."
Alicia was worried her baby would be born addicted, slow or deformed. Alicia's daughter was born healthy, although three weeks early.
Being a mother didn't keep Alicia from going back to meth. She shot up again when her daughter was a month old. The girl often stayed with Alicia's mother and grandmother while Alicia renewed her acquaintance with methamphetamine.
Her customers would get in touch by pager, and their calls were frequent.
"I'd leave at night, going out selling and using," Alicia said. "I'd take [my daughter] to the park but instead of staying there for 30 minutes, my pager would go off and we'd leave after five minutes."
By the time her daughter was 2, Alicia was selling crystal methamphetamine and cocaine. It wasn't unusual for Alicia to stay awake for three or four days. She was irritable with her child.
"I neglected her a lot," Alicia said. "I loved my daughter but I have to say I loved drugs more."
In 1997, Alicia was sentenced to the state Community Punishment Center in Little Rock. She'd violated her probation in Benton County for the sixth time by cutting off an electronic monitoring device and going on a methamphetamine binge.
"I was ready to quit by then," she said. "I was tired, tired of not having a clear mind. I wanted off. I was fed up with being up [awake], tired of my mind not being clear."
Alicia said she used methamphetamine and other drugs to fill an emptiness she felt despite having devoted parents who gave her attention and money.
Alicia got "clean" in the punishment center, and says she has been since her release in October.
"I never thought I'd see the day when I wouldn't wake up first thing in the morning and shoot dope in the bathroom," she said.
She and her daughter live with Alicia's parents near Rogers.
"My daughter's lived the fast life" Alicia said. "She's seen too much."