LITTLE ROCK — Max Havoc: Curse of the Dragon, Westlake Entertainment, $19.98
Good martial arts action and really bad acting have been partners for a long time, and this direct-tovideo release is certainly no exception.
Swiss martial artist turned actor Mickey Hardt plays the title role, a former kickboxing champion turned sports photographer (he retires from the ring after he kills an opponent, a scene replayed in innumerable flashbacks). All Max wants is a peaceful life but he can'tseem to stay out of trouble; he's constantly having to use his skills to fend off thugs in bars, on beaches, etc.
Max goes on a trumped-up-by-the-screenwriters photo shoot in Guam, which just coincidentally is where his former corner man, Tahsi (Richard Roundtree), runs an art-and-antique shop.
Max's encounter with hot blond art dealer Jane Goody (Polish-born supermodel Joanna Krupa) and her pretty medical school-student sister Christy (Tawny Sablan) escalates after Jane buys a jade dragon from Tahsi that is actually a stolen burial urn containing the ashes of the founder of a Japanese ninja cult called the Black Dragons.
The cult's grand master (David Carradine) is more than anxious to obtain the urn's return. That means Max will have to kickbox and out-martial-art any number of nasty-fisted, agile-footed and/or sword-wielding Asians to keep hisGoodys.
Veteran action director Albert Pyun knows how to film action scenes, and the martial-arts parts of this movie are very impressive and not especially gory. And it's got some impres-sive travelogue-style footage of Guam.
It's a pity that most of the rest of the movie doesn't come anywhere near being worth watching. Krupa is undoubtedly one of the world's most beautiful women, but she is certainly not an actress - her performance consists almost entirely of exaggerated facial gestures and stiffly delivered dialogue in a slight Eastern European accent. (That the dialogue is very stiffly written is certainly no help.) Hardt, who delivers his dialogue in a more pronounced Swiss-German accent, is marginally better.
Most of the rest of the performances don't even come up to this standard, except for Roundtree and Carradine, who manage actually to wade through their lines to create believable characters.
Over-exposed sex kittens Carmen Electra and Nikki Ziering make very brief cameo appearances, mostly for the benefit of being able to put their names on the packaging to help sell this turkey. (If you do fall prey to this marketing gimmick, know that you'll see no nudity and no sex - Electra and Ziering are more or less fully clad and Krupa never gets down further than a bikini.)
Extras include waste-of-time interviews with Hardt, Sablan and the local woman from Guam who plays the thief; limited actor biographies and filmographies; a photo gallery; and a "Girls of Max Havoc" calendar that requires a Windows-equipped computer to see.
C Notes without votes
: Five Vegas-bound friends, including Jason Connery, have a terrifying encounter with a UFO in Night Skies (Sony Pictures Home Entertainment, $24.96). No extras.
Flashdance star Jennifer Beals plays an FBI special agent seeking the kidnapped daughter of a wealthy couple in Troubled Waters (Genius Products, $24.95). No extras.
And among the more bizarre things to cross our desk recently is volume one of Dearly Departed (Tenacity Entertainment, $17.95), the first in a seriesof documentaries by Hollywood historian Scott Michaels, based on the "cult" Web site Find-ADeath.com, focusing on how and when celebrities have died in Hollywood. Among the celebrities "covered" here: Jack Cassidy, Robert Kennedy, George Reeves, the Black Dahlia, Marilyn Monroe, Janis Joplin, Karen Carpenter and River Phoenix, plus a 15-minute Michaels bonus video.
This week's kid-vids: Alvin and the Chipmunks: A Chipmunk Valentine (Paramount Home Entertainment, $14.98, no extras), four love-themed animated episodes, and The Wubbulous World of Dr. Seuss: The Cat's Family and Friends (Sony, $9.95, no extras), four episodes of the Jim Hensoncreated show.
Multidisc sets:
Paramount is releasing the second season of Chuck Norris' Walker Texas Ranger (seven discs, $49.99, no extras).
Acorn Media has released the first set of the British series Father Brown (two discs, $39.99), with Kenneth More as G.K. Chesterton's clerical detective, plus bonus Chesterton bio and cast filmographies; and series three of British sitcom Rising Damp (one disc, $24.99), with Leonard Rossiter as the miserly, Archie Bunker-like landlord of a run-down boarding house. Extras include production notesand cast filmographies.
Also out this week
: The Waltons: Complete Fourth Season
Due Tuesday
: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit - Third Year; Murder, She Wrote: Complete Fifth Season; Dallas: Complete Sixth Season; The Big Valley: Season 2 Volume 1; Unhitched; Benny Hill Set 6: The Hill's Angels Years - Complete & Unadulterated; Lucky Louie: Complete First Season; I Dream of Jeannie: Complete Third Season; Michael Bolton: My Secret Passion; Cousin Bette; Motown: The Early Years; Smokey Robinson: The Greatest Hits Live; Three's Company: Capturing the Laughter - Jack's Favorites; Ronnie Hawkins: Still Alive and Kickin' ; Celtic Woman: A New Journey - Live at Slane Castle Eric E. Harrison's Sub Titles, which primarily deals with direct-to-video and TV-to-video releases, appears Thursdays. Prices are list and do not necessarily reflect what they cost in your local video store. Send e-mail to:
Style, Pages 37, 43 on 01/25/2007