LITTLE ROCK — My fiance and I are in our 40s and are in the process of selling our houses to find a somewhat bigger place for the two of us. We’re both fully outfitted with furniture, kitchen gadgets and all the other stuff accumulated as homeowners. The merging won’t be simple, and we’ve heard some horror stories about the process - from figuring out how to blend furniture styles to what colors walls should be. All hints and tips for getting through this successfully will be appreciated. Thanks.
We found quite a number of advice-giving sources on this topic, some pretty simple, others more thoughtful. So we’ll put the ideas together for you.
Here are words used often: communicate, inventory, assumptions, tact, clutter, lacy bed cover, beer can collection, individuality, compromise, balance.
Maybe you can see where this is going.
You’re right that the merger of belongings has many potential minefields. But thinking of it as a team effort can make it fun and interesting, and help keep skirmishes to a minimum. The suggestions:
Set aside time to walk through both homes and discuss items that are must haves, negotiable or ready to toss. Don’t gnash your communal teeth over every decision, but don’t rush it, because each of you can always change your mind or adjust as you go. Is his tattered chair his throne or ready to be tossed?
The lace bed cover from Aunt Rose that she adores may be way too feminine for him. Talk about it. The throne can be reupholstered. The bed cover can go in a guest room.
Take notes of each other’s opinions so you don’t second guess or lose track. It also will give you a reference for thinking about things later.
Take inventory of larger furniture and appliances first. On appliances, it’s generally good advice to try to keep those that are newer or still under warranty.
For furniture, compare quality, value and comfort rather than color and finish, because you can have well made but non-coordinating furniture reupholstered and even change a piece’s shape during the process.
For decorative objects as well as furniture, look for different uses or places for any good pieces that at first seem like they may not work - like a living room chair moved to a bedroom as a reading area.
Make a list of electronics, linens, pots and pans, kitchen gadgets, dinner and tableware, lawn and garden things and Christmas decorations, especially those that are likely to be duplicates or keepers. Keep the higher quality objects and ditch duplicate or damaged ones.
De-clutter, de-junk. Do it now, not when you start packing for the move.
The same goes for clothing and personal items. You both have had free rein with closet space, so now is the time to get rid of pieces that don’t fit, you don’t like, or that have not been worn or used in at least a year. You may need to begin rotating seasonal items into storage so you both have space.
If either or both of you have exes, this is the ideal time to get rid of any items left behind or carrying leftover memories - Christmas decorations, for example.
It’s time to determine what is safe to shred if you have multiple years of financial or other records.
Where does all the extra stuff go? Hold a garage sale. Donate items to charity.
Color choices are important. Honeysuckle pink may be one trend-dictator’s color of the year, but it’s rarely a guy’s first choice. While each of you can have a retreat area to express your own styles, there needs to be a compromise in main areas. Men tend to go for neutrals, deep browns and greens; women for pastels and warmer tones. Meet in the middle with colors like sage greens, cerulean blue, taupe - neutral enough for both.
Also look for gender-neutral patterns, such as stripes and plaids or designs such as ikat or Moorish.
Don’t be afraid to mix furniture pieces, textures and patterns as you fuse a variety of sensibilities into an interesting, eclectic look.
Develop a notebook with photos of big items. Include measurements of larger pieces and items that are often more difficult to place. Keep swatches cut from the underside of couches, chairs and upholstered pieces, if you can, to tell whether items (or new upholstery) match.
As soon as you can, measure the rooms of your new home to help see what will or won’t fit where.
HomeStyle, Pages 33 on 07/23/2011