LITTLE ROCK — About seven years ago, Cylinda Sue Delaughter got “inked” for the first and only time.
“She got a little sunshine [tattoo] with a happy face on it,” said her daughter, Charity Delaughter. “It was so indicative of who she was.”
Delaughter died Wednesday under Arkansas Hospice care at St. Vincent Infirmary Medical Center in Little Rock from cancer. She was 55.
Delaughter began dating her future husband, Dan, when they were both teenagers. After one of their early dates, he recalled having a special dream.
“I had a dream that we had got married,” Dan Delaughter said. “I just remember at the end of it we were sitting on the porch, we looked like we were in our 80s. ... I always kind of held that as kind of like a promise.”
Delaughter dedicated her life to others, from volunteering with the American Business Women’s Association to the year she spent as a patient advocate in the St. Vincent emergency room.
“She was there to make sure that the patients were taken care of, that they were not left alone for long periods of time,” her husband said. “She had a heart of gold, so it was just like magic for her to go in there and really make a difference.”
The couple often took in young, struggling family members and, once, a Russian foreign exchange student who is still like a daughter, Dan Delaughter said.
“They respected and looked up to her and could come to her for advice,” her husband said. “She was always, always an advocate for children.”
On Nov. 11, 2009, her life changed when Delaughter was diagnosed with a type of breast cancer called HER2-positive.
“In a matter of two months, [the cancer] grew from nothing to bigger than the size of two golf balls,” Dan Delaughter said.
Delaughter endured weekly chemotherapy as the cancer spread to her liver and lungs. When the doctors told her a year ago that she would not live much longer, Delaughter and her husband “just picked up everything and left, sold their home” and spent a year at MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston, her daughter said.
“There’s not one time she let anyone see her discouraged,” her husband said. “She was always positive, always lighthearted.”
That year was “a miracle,” Charity Delaughter said, because “she got to see both of her daughters get married and see her grandson be born.”
Though not an artist, Dan Delaughter sculpted a 6-inch-wide, 5-inchtall clay bust of himself and his wife. They both have bald heads. At the bottom of the sculpture is the phrase “Into the Storm.”
“It didn’t start out as this, but that’s going to be a part of her tombstone,” Dan Delaughter said, who shaved his head in support of his wife when she lost her hair.
In March, Delaughter’s doctors discovered she had about 15 brain tumors. Another tumor was found on her spine and within a matter of weeks, she was paralyzed. Despite the inevitable, Dan Delaughter said he never forgot his dream.
“I used that to remind God we were supposed to be old and Cylinda is going to survive this,” her husband said. “When we knew this was going to be the end, we moved into this house. It was a real shocker — it had a screened-in porch like what was in the dream. It was kind of a beautiful thing.”
Even in the last days of her life, Delaughter was helping others.
“In her hospital bed, she could barely move her hands and she’s painstakingly making these gift boxes to give to people at Christmas,” Charity Delaughter said.
About two weeks ago, Delaughter, who had been in and out of consciousness, made sure to share her final epiphany.
“She looked at me dead in the eyes and said, ‘Charity, I want you to know that this world is an illusion and this is not where our spirit resides,’” her daughter said.
Arkansas, Pages 10 on 11/10/2012