Forget about going viral and go give value.
-- Bernard Kelvin Clive,
CEO of BKC Consulting
Several months ago my son and I were out to dinner. It was one of those sit-down places where you can talk and be heard.
A couple came in and sat in my line of vision. I noticed that once the server had taken their order, they both began fiddling with their phones. They didn't say one word to each other -- or even look up -- until their food came.
It made me sad. But it is something you see a lot these days.
During a visit to my doctor, I noticed social media disconnect too. Looking around the waiting room, I saw almost everyone staring down as they checked their emails, sent texts and surfed the Internet.
A man and his teenage daughter came into the waiting area, and he sat next to me. I'm there waiting, minding my own business and watching the medical infomercials on the TV hooked to the wall. I happen to look a little to the left and notice that this man has a photo of a scantily clad, very busty woman on his phone -- while his daughter is sitting right there.
I think he noticed me noticing the photo, and he moved the phone so I couldn't see it. Once his daughter went back to see the doctor, he moved. I was glad. And I was creeped out.
And how many times these days have we seen televised news reports about tragedies, and in the background people are recording the scene to post on social media? Things like that make great storylines for shows like CSI or Castle. But in real life it can lead to trauma for the victims' families.
In a world where things can be uploaded in a matter of seconds, social media can be a weapon. We live in a world of oversharing everything to the point that hardly anything is special any more.
I'm not against technology or social media, so don't email me about it, please. I'm just over it. And thankfully, my LG flip Tracfone is so low-tech that I would never even consider using social media on it.
It's that same technology that enables us to see things happening around the world 24/7. Whether it's the Ebola virus, beheadings, war or famine, we are exposed to it all on the radio, read about it on the Internet or see it on TV. It can be mentally and physically overwhelming.
Being overwhelmed by events having nothing to do with us can't be good for our health. Should we avoid it? Looking for expert guidance, I reached out to the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences and was put in touch with Kevin Navin, a licensed certified social worker with the UAMS Psychiatric Research Institute.
I started by asking how social media, with so much news or information, can affect a person's mood or mindset.
Navin says that high-tech phones have enabled us to be "linked-in" at all times. News, weather and sites like Facebook or Twitter are chiming updates consistently. The sense of being available at all times and subject to demands for immediate response often creates a level of heightened anxiety. The negative impact of the 24-hour news cycle and the "breaking news" phenomena, particularly post-9/11, has many feeling they must be engaged or aware at all times, as if their safety depended on it.
So much of the information, he says, does not affect us as individuals. But the news and social media programs want us to feel compelled to check in frequently anyway.
Cellphone technology can also lead to distracted driving. And it can give easy access to potentially damaging habitual behaviors like gambling and viewing pornography.
MENTAL HEALTH
I asked about problems such as mental disorders and depression. Could they be triggered by too much of a "good" thing -- like technology?
Navin says, "Not necessarily." Those who might experience paranoid symptoms have no shortage of material from which to draw. Between the news programs and unconfirmed "news" that may appear on social media, there is often little accountability for the material presented.
It can feel as though there will be no consequences for bad behaviors on social networks because of the protection provided by anonymity or distance. Navin says it's sort of like when we are driving and someone does something we don't like so we make an impolite gesture. Most of us wouldn't do that face to face. Our phones offer that same sort of filter. It's easy to fire off a rude text, email or video tirade before the mind has grasped what the consequences could be.
Navin says he's extremely concerned about young people who often don't have the social skills or maturity to manage the responsibility. In a world where celebrities hire public relations firms to protect their image, teens are left to learn as they go, and the consequences are often permanent.
People do criminal things (cyberbullying, etc.) with their phones and computers for which they could be held accountable for later -- in a court of law. Responsibility for their actions must be taught at a young age, and they should be supervised closely, as parents would do in other social situations.
And many of them who connect so closely with and through social media are also disconnecting from others around them.
DIAL IT BACK
I also wondered whether taking a break from the news, social media and technology would be a good idea.
Navin says that as a mental-health professional, he cannot convey enough how valuable it is to periodically unplug. Those of us who have been around a while remember the days when there was protected time at home. And no cellphones. There were often established times for family interactions and a time to detach from the day-to-day stress of work or school.
We still need such boundaries, whether they revolve around phones, computers, TV or social activities.
Navin suggests a media-free vacation, or turning off the TV. And setting boundaries with friends is good, too. We do not have to be on call 24/7. They can leave a message.
We used to imagine that the news and current events were some of the most worthwhile elements of the television experience. Now they often incite anxiety through the simple act of "informing."
And with social media, it's one thing to inform; it's another thing to overshare to the point that there is nothing in our lives left to the imagination.
Communicate with me at:
rboggs@arkansasonline.com
ActiveStyle on 11/03/2014