So when we middle-and-above-agers take forever to get something done, we don't have to use the worn-out excuse of advancing age.
We can blame it on Parkinson's law or Hofstadter's law, both of which are suited for all ages.
This, according to an interesting little essay on Curiosity.com.
A click on a link in one of the site's newsletters led to "The 2 Main Reasons Why Everything Takes Longer Than You Think It Will" by Anna Todd.
"You've been procrastinating filing your taxes, and suddenly it's down to the wire," she writes. "Before you know it, your taxes are taking way longer than anticipated, and you even gave yourself an hour longer than last year. There's a reason for this: We're our own worst enemies when it comes to productivity." The two reasons cited in the title: Time is relative, and "you're a slowpoke -- accept it."
Todd first cites Parkinson's law, named for Cyril Northcote Parkinson, a British historian and author of Parkinson's Law: Or The Pursuit of Progress. Parkinson said that "work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion." In other words, if we're allotted a generous amount of time to get something done, we'll putter around and blow that time with added/ancillary tasks. "Have you ever been given hours to get ready, so you simply fill that time with a relaxing bath, some Internet browsing, then a rushed outfit change before you're out the door?" Todd asks.
I can attest to being a big committer of this sin. Case in point: getting this very column done. Due to production changes some years back, the newspaper's Sunday Style section deadline was moved to noon Monday, six days before publication. I usually miss that deadline by roughly half a day. But back in the sure-enough olden days, the deadline for Sunday Style section columns was four days before publication. Struggled with that deadline too.
I've written before about the fine art of puttering around when given all day to do something. How we can start researching our tasks on the computer, then click on links that take us further and further away from the matter at hand until we're scrolling through our social-media newsfeed. Then we realize we need to fetch a pen to jot down something. While we're up, we realize we want coffee. Before that, better go to the bathroom! And so forth and so on. All the while we think, "No problem. I got all day to get this," then rush to complete the task when time is almost up. (And, yes, those rushed wardrobe changes can happen even under the best of intentions: You might have actually cleaned and ironed the chosen outfit plenty early, but didn't think to try it on just one more time before deciding on it.)
Parkinson's law is a cousin apparent to Hofstadter's law, named for Douglas Hofstadter and also discussed by Todd. The cognitive scientist and author first introduced his productivity law in his 1979 book Godel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid.
Hofstadter sorta cheated. He mentions his own law in a definition of his own law: "It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's law." Sorta reminds me of a law version of that whole infinity-mirror effect. The law is broken down further at the website Whatis.Techtarget.com : "Time estimates for how long anything will take to accomplish always fall short of the actual time required -- even when the time allotment is increased to compensate for the human tendency to underestimate it." Even if we give ourselves four hours to complete that report this time instead of the two hours we gave ourselves last time -- because "ya know, this stuff always takes longer than we think it will" -- the four hours won't be enough, either.
So see, fellow old-timers, Hofstadter's law is the perfect anti-aging excuse as to why we still aren't ready to go to the party after having all day Saturday to prepare; why we have to pack a lunch for those meant-to-be quick trips to the grocery store to get lunch and breakfast and dinner supplies; why, well, housework never really gets done; and why multitasking is pretty much a study in infinite futility.
Unfortunately, Hofstadter's law is also a cousin to one other, more unfortunate law: That of one Murphy. If Murphy's law gets entangled in Hofstadter's law -- in other words, everything that can go wrong, will go wrong during the always-inadequate amount of extra time allotted for any task -- we may as well forget the whole dang thing and go fishing.
Well, in my case, I'd better turn this column in first. It's 4 p.m. on Monday. But I've got Curiosity.com beat. Todd's article was first posted in February 2017. The newsletter mentioning it hit my inbox a week ago.
Tiii--iii--iii--ime is on your side, so email:
hwilliams@arkansasonline.com
Style on 12/09/2018