Dear Otus,
Halloween has become a big deal in our neighborhood recently because the baby boom of a few years back has resulted in a gaggle of the little munchkins up and down the street.
Our kids are all grown, but we're determined not to be left behind with all the fun. How far in advance is too soon to get the decorations up and what is the hip and cool costume this year?
-- Richie Tozier,
North Little Rock
Dear Richie,
It was wholly a pleasure to hear from you and to have the opportunity to advise you on Halloween, the most celebrated and beloved of all the secular holidays, including Columbus Day (which will cease to be observed after 2020).
With Tuesday being Oct. 1, that means time is running out for you to reserve your costume and get your house ready for the big night.
The stores have been stocked with Halloween decorations since Labor Day, but it's considered gauche to decorate your house and yard before Oct. 1. It's the same thing as not putting up Christmas decorations until the day after Thanksgiving.
Fortunately for homeowners, the readily available and relatively inexpensive decorations these days have resulted in an explosion of home decoration. You can find it all online.
In Owner's youth, his father used to decorate the entrance hall with blacklights and faux spiderwebs and play eerie music with screams and howls. The candy bowl was at the end of the hall, so the kids had to navigate a gauntlet of about 15 feet of horror to get their treats.
They loved it. Owner's dad dressed up like Red Skelton's Freddie the Freeloader to man the bowl -- and it was the good stuff, like full-size candy bars, not mini bags of candy corn.
What is that stuff anyway?
These days, such a simple layout would get you laughed out of the neighborhood. I'm not saying that home decorating has risen to the level of Matthew Broderick vs. Danny DeVito in Deck the Halls, but the coolest houses have a theme and no expense is spared.
The themes, for example, could be ghosts, witches, monsters, pumpkins, creepy crawlers, dinosaurs, zombies or any combination as long as it's cool and scares the spit out of a 7-year-old dressed like Elsa from Frozen.
In recent years we've seen dozens of Elsas and Annas, lots of kiddos dressed as superheroes from The Avengers and (fading now), Harry Potter folks, such as Harry and Hermione, even Moaning Myrtle.
What you never see anymore are kids dressed like clowns. Thanks to the malevolent influence of Stephen King, clowns have fallen into disfavor and that's the perfect reason to turn the outside of your house into a Halloween wonderland, lure those tykes into the front hallway and then jump out dressed as Pennywise the Dancing Clown.
Keep plenty of wet wipes and towels handy. Maybe a mop.
Sadly, long gone are the idyllic days of Bozo and Ronald McDonald and, for the geezers out there, Howdy Doody's mute pal, Clarabelle (initially played by Bob Keeshan, who later became Captain Kangaroo). That's why these days, if you want to be cool, you gotta be Pennywise.
You can find a full Pennywise costume online for about $50, or just a full-head mask for $20. There are even makeup and costume tutorials on YouTube for those going old school and doing it themselves.
As far as outside your home is concerned, it's important not to skimp. Decorate from the outer boundary in, the better to entice the kiddies to the candy and Pennywise.
Start with a classic -- the Betty Bash flattened witch crashing into a tree ($18), then hang four or five fabric "ghosts" from the tree limbs ($6.99 each). This never fails to draw them in.
Around the periphery, place four or five inflatable Halloween decorations such as Gemmy's 6-foot lighted dragon with flaming mouth ($80), the 8-foot pre-lit Carl Minion with pumpkin sack ($149), and the 12-foot, pre-lit inflatable GhostFlame Wicked Pumpkin Creeper for only $99. It projects a blazing flame-like light effect.
We have a neighbor who has a giant, glowing, 11-foot black cat with rotating head. It's a crowd-pleaser.
Create a spook-tacular front yard graveyard with a frightful resin tombstone set ($12.80 for six), then drape your entrance with a black light stretch spiderweb ($5.99) accented by a 5-foot light-up hairy poseable spider ($19.99).
Download royalty free creepy Halloween sound effects for the finishing ambience and enjoy!
Until next time, Kalaka reminds you that Pennywise always hands out red helium balloons, so keep plenty in stock.
Disclaimer
Fayetteville-born Otus the Head Cat's award-winning column of humorous fabrication
appears every Saturday. Email:
mstorey@arkansasonline.com
Disclaimer: Fayetteville-born Otus the Head Cat's award-winning column of 👉 humorous fabrication 👈 appears every Saturday.
HomeStyle on 09/29/2018