Dear Abby: I’ve been in a “friend with benefits” relationship for more than a year now. I’m 57 and he’s 79. I was raised a Christian and wanted to save myself for marriage. This is the first time I have loved someone and been the FWB. I’m jealous of his last girlfriend and what they had together. She wanted to get married, and he didn’t.
A woman at my church says I ought to just remain friends with him and pray God will send me a man who will love and marry me. This is a retirement town. There aren’t many available men my age. I feel guilty because I went against my Christian faith. — In Limbo In Arizona
Dear In Limbo: Why are you wasting your time being jealous of his ex-girlfriend? They are history. The odds of you changing this man’s mind on the subject of marriage are not good, but you knew that from the beginning. The guilt you’re carrying may be the price you pay for the pleasure this relationship brings you.
Since pickings are so slim in your community, please note that I’m not telling you to end it. However, if the situation becomes increasingly painful, that’s what you should do. Because you are religious, discuss this subject with your religious adviser.
Dear Abby: Five years ago, our son was arrested for child porn. At the time, he was responsible for running our family business. When he was sent to prison for two years, we realized he had been running it into the ground, plus stealing as much as he could. We have not spoken since. Our grandson is now being married, and he wants us to attend. We haven’t spoken to our grandson or his father since all this happened. Must we attend this wedding? — Bad Blood In Florida
Dear Bad Blood: It would be unfair to shun your grandson for the sins of his father. Must you attend the wedding? No. Should you go? I think so. When you do, be cordial to your son. You do not have to see him often or at all after that, but keep in mind there may be other family celebrations in the future.
Dear Abby: I have a best friend of 15 years. (We even got matching tattoos.) However, I feel like I’m always put on the back burner. I’m easygoing, so maybe she feels she doesn’t need to be a good friend in return? I understand we all have busy lives, but there are 24 hours in a day and seven days in a week. It only takes a minute to send a text to ask how I’m doing. Is it unrealistic to want a friendship that goes both ways? — Lost In A Friendship
Dear Lost: It is only unrealistic if you have spoken to your longtime friend about how you feel (15 years late) and she’s unwilling to expend more effort in your direction. I recommend you have that long-overdue conversation and let her know your needs.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother,Pauline Phillips.Contact Dear Abby at P.O.Box 69440,Los Angeles,CA 90069 or visit
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