Today's Paper Latest Coronavirus Cooking The Article Families Core Values Story ideas iPad Weather Newsletters Obits Puzzles Archive

OPINION | JOHN BRUMMETT: Bubba breaks it down

by John Brummett | November 15, 2020 at 8:59 a.m.

Readers had made three requests regarding Bubba McCoy.

One was that I find out which way he voted in the presidential race, and why.

The second was that I ask what he made of the post-election turmoil.

The other request came from women demanding to know why I spend so much time writing about the supposed rural wisdom of a cranky old white man and used-car dealer instead of sharing the more valuable thinking of his wife, daughter and granddaughter.

"Talk to all three of 'em if you want, but I can tell you everything you need to know," Bubba declared by phone the other day.

That Bubba would presume to speak for the women in his life ... perhaps that was the point.

I told Bubba that, whatever those women said, I continued to get more requests for visits with him than anything else.

"It's my wit and wisdom, don't you reckon?" he said.

It either was that, or that Little Rock people liked to make fun of him.

So, what did he make of Donald Trump's refusal to concede, his characterization of our country as electorally corrupt and his failure to cooperate with the transition to Joe Biden's administration?

"Oh, you know what he's doing, don't you?" Bubba asked.

I assured him I did not.

"He's gonna give in in a few days and say he was cheated and really was the winner and it's a crying shame what's happened, but he's going to have to accept the crooked returns. Then he's gonna keep doing that twit thing and doing those rallies and keep the Republicans kowtowed to him so he can come back and beat Kamala Harris, and be the winner in the end."

Bubba seemed to own a grasp of the ego.

So, how did he vote?

"I think I would have voted for Biden if not for the fact that's he's even older than I am and, if he goes, it's going to be Harris. There's just something about her I don't like. And, I know, you're going to say it's all about race and sex, but I swear it ain't.

"At least I think it ain't.

"Anyway, all things considered, I decided I'd rather sit here and watch CNN lose it for four more years telling me what I already know, which is that Trump is a nut."

Bubba told me it was high time I quit looking down on perfectly reasonable people who knew full well what Trump was, but also knew full well that Harris and Pelosi and Schumer did not provide a comforting alternative.

"I only voted at all because the boss lady made me. She got these absentee ballots and got all my paperwork

done and told me to sit down and mark the damned thing or she'd unhook the Roku and I'd never figure out how to get it set back up to watch the Hogs.

"I told her I was going to vote for Trump if I had to vote, and she said the Constitution guarantees the right to be stupid."

So, that answered that: Mrs. Bubba was for Biden.

"She gets a stomachache whenever Trump comes on the TV. She says bullies are the worst of humanity. So I asked her to quit bullying me about the TV."

And what about daughter Yvonne over in east Memphis?

"She's married to a dentist. They make too much money not to be Republicans. I told 'em they ought to be for Biden the way their teeth shine like his do. She said Biden was gonna go socialist and that her poor rich husband would have to spend all his time filling homeless people's cavities for free."

That left granddaughter Missy, just finishing her master's in social work at Memphis University.

She's Bubba's tomboy sidekick from her toddler days and his light even now. She makes straight A's, still calls Bubba regularly to make sure he's wearing his mask, and could re-hook the Roku in a flash considering she's the one who hooked it up in the first place.

Bubba loves her deeply, admires her just as much, and understands her not a whit.

"She probably wrote in Karl Marx for president," Bubba said.

"She's been out there marching in the street. She wants everything fixed and equal for Black people and she wants everything fixed and equal for poor people, and she wants everyone to stop using gas and oil and everything else we rely on, and she wants it all done yesterday.

"She has no use for energy-wasting old fat white men--except one, and you're talking to him. Strangest thing."

I said it sounded like love, the antidote to what ails us.

Bubba didn't speak for a second or two. I sensed he was choked up briefly.

I asked for Missy's number. She might make a column someday.

"You be nice to her," Bubba said. "She's good people."


John Brummett, whose column appears regularly in the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, is a member of the Arkansas Writers' Hall of Fame. Email him at Read his @johnbrummett Twitter feed.


Sponsor Content