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OPINION | DEAR ABBY: Woman takes advantage of neighbor’s assistance

by Abigail Van Buren | November 5, 2021 at 1:00 a.m.

Dear Abby: My husband is close to retirement age and has his hands full with work and yardwork. We have a lot of property to take care of. Two years ago, a retired neighbor asked him to clear the snow from her double driveway. (We don’t own a plow.) She started giving him $20 for his hard work. This year, she decided to give him $10 when she felt like it.

This woman has two housekeepers, goes out to eat and vacations on a regular basis. When the snow falls, she calls our home constantly to have her driveways cleared even though my husband is at work. How do we put a stop to this ? — Fed Up In Pennsylvania

Dear Fed Up: Your husband has been a good neighbor; this woman hasn’t acted like one. The next time she calls when your husband is at work, tell her your husband is “too busy” and suggest that she hire a snow removal service.

Dear Abby: I am at a crossroads. My wife and I have grown apart. I thought we could go to counseling to resolve it, but she wants no part of it. My daughter came to me asking why Mommy is kissing “Mr. Jones” and telling him she loves him. I can handle the heartbreak, but for my daughter to see this kills me. How do I confront this? — Heartbroken For My Child

Dear Heartbroken: Talk to your wife about what your daughter told you. When couples separate, they usually try to spare their young children the details of their romantic lives until enough time has passed for the kids to adjust to the breakup. That your wife couldn’t wait to do this is regrettable. Because she refuses counseling, if you haven’t talked to an attorney, the time to do it is now.

Dear Abby: My daughter-in-law’s uncle is a pastor. Recently, they held a small Sunday morning service at my daughter-in-law’s house. The brother wanted to do a “laying on of hands,” where he would say a short prayer about each person.

When it was my turn, he put his hand on my head and prayed for “all my bad habits” to be healed. I was mortified. Everyone has bad habits. Why would he single me out to shame and embarrass like that? I don’t think his intentions were holy. Advice? — Feeling Abused In Florida

Dear Feeling Abused: You would feel less “abused” had you told that tasteless individual how his “blessing” made you feel when it happened. However, if you have his phone number, it’s still not too late. You deserve an apology. I suggest you not attend any more of those “services.”

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles,CA 90069 or visit


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